New Zealand's new bleeding billboards are the country's most troubling creation since Flight of the Conchords.

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In an epic episode of kiss and tell, one woman dared to shamelessly reveal the steamy details of hooking up with Dustin Diamond to Heeb Magazine.

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Formerly poisoned Ukrainian President Victor Yushchenko is not the only one suffering anymore. On June 30, he outlawed the possession of pornography throughout the country, according to MosNews.

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Scruffy and blubbery documentary superstar Michael Moore just announced the name for his latest documentary about the bank failures: Capitalism: A Love Story. The film will be released by Paramount Picture Corporation, which doesn't sound quite so socialist, so we're just going to go ahead and pretend that Moore's title is not sarcastic.

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While "death by chocolate" sounds like a dream come true to some, an unfortunate incident led to the death of a New Jersey factory worker. The 29-year-old man fell into the melting machine while adding bits of solid chocolate to the mixer. The batch was supposed to be prepared for Hershey's. The accident is being investigated, but BBC reports that he passed away yesterday due to a head injury rather than the scalding 120-degree temperature of the chocolate.   

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Says Gothamist, 13 New York Dunkin' Donuts will transform into Tim Hortons over the weekend, representing the first move in an extremely friendly Canadian donut invasion.

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Everyone's favorite party girl is turning 45 today. Hopefully, the celebration for the lead singer of Hole will lead to yet another night of classy moves and incoherent babbling. In her honor, Perez Hilton put up an album of her more graceful moments.

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What will you be doing when you turn 95? Not, most likely, performing on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera House, which is what the ageless Frederic Franklin is doing this week, appearing in the small but dramatically pivotal role of Friar Laurence in American Ballet Theatre’s Romeo and Juliet.

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JET is playing tonight in support of its new single "She's a Genius" at Gramercy Theatre, 127 E. 23rd St. (betw. Park & Lexington Aves.), 212-777-6800; 8:30, $TBA

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Governor Paterson named Richard Ravitch as his Lieutenant Governor, a move that is destined to set off a slew of messy court battles. AG Andrew Cuomo stated flat out that the appointment of a Lt. Gov. would be unconstitutional. Ravitch is a former head of the MTA, and he sat on the commission that tried to eliminate the need for a fare hike (great job, Dick). Hopefully he will do a better job quelling the anarchic unrest of the State Senate.

Though the constitutionality of this move remains uncertain, one thing is clear: New York government is still fucked up.

 Photo via NY Daily News.

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