Nothing says summer like the return of the dreadlocked crust punks who take up residence on corners of the East Village and, increasingly, Williamsburg. Recognizable by their dogs, Crass patches and penchant for picking up cigarette butts from the street, these lovable freegan scamps are as much a part of the season as blackouts and to-go margaritas. So why is the man hassling them?
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I don’t get it. Is Fox's new show Glee really that great? Sure, there are funny lines here and there and everything Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester) says is hilarious, but the rest of the show is flat-out uninteresting.
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After the big-deal news yesterday that Senator Arlen Specter will defect from the GOP and become a big old Commie, Republican stud Rush Limbaugh said, "A lot of people said, well Specter, take McCain with you, and his daughter. Take McCain and his daughter with you." He can stop right there.
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The Tenement Museum, whose controversial take on unionized employees was the recent subject of an article here at the Press, is hosting a talk this Thursday with The Forbidden Apple: Sex and Sin in New York City author Kat Long. Led by Kevin Baker, the panel will discuss New York's sexual history: "licentious slumming" during the Victorian era, burlesque shows, brothels and Giuliani's effect on the city's sex life. Bring protection...from all of the frustrated museum workers!
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Today the New York Yankees released single game tickets for the 2009 season at the new stadium. I live in the Bronx and I want to see the new addition to the neighborhood, so I decided to see what was available for tickets. I figured most tickets would be sold out at this point, 11 o’clock in the morning, though I decided to try anyway.
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Since every baseball fan in the country is either talking about Alex Rodriguez or trying to come up with another great pun for his name, (I’ve been told mine is too long: A-Fraud Roid-riguez?) I figured I’d chime in on baseball's steroid problem.
Most of the media is concerned with A-Rod himself, the same way they were concerned with Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens and Jason Giambi. Fans and journalists are asking, with teary eyes, “How could you do this to us?” The answer is simple: They knew they could get away with it, so why the hell not?
For longer than I’ve been alive, major league baseball officials have looked the other way when it came to steroids. The old policy was a joke. We should not be surprised that a lot of players took advantage of a non-existent steroid policy. What we should be concerned about is what we can do now. The 2005 updated restrictions are still not good enough. 1st offense: 50-game suspension. 2nd offense: 100 game suspension. 3rd offense: lifetime suspension from baseball. If we want to get steroids out of baseball and guarantee a clean opening day 2009, we need to ban these jerks on their first offense. If you gamble on baseball, even if you are betting on other games you have no impact over, you are banned from baseball first offense no questions asked. It’s funny that Barry Bonds is still sitting atop the list of home runs while Pete Rose is forever banned from baseball Yes, Rose is a jerk, but his all-time hit record was done without the help of PEDs or creatine or the other junk these guys are ingesting.
The new steroid policy does not mention what we do about the past. Obama says this is the “Age of Responsibility,” so let’s do something. Major League baseball should strike all proven steroid inflated statistics from official stats. Hank Aaron would be again reinstated as #1 on the HR list and A-Rod will have no shot to beat him. There should also be a deadline for any past players to come forward. If they come forward, their stats will be stripped, but they will be allowed to play. If we find out later they used steroids, they are banned forever. Will Major League Baseball do this? Absolutely not. Why? Because we, the fans, are weak. I tried to find an anti-steroid petition online and the only one I found was one to ban Barry Bonds. We need to start a real anti-steroid campaign to tell Major League Baseball their rules are bullshit and we are not gonna take it any more.
Check out his obvious change in stats here.
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Since October 2008, I’ve received an average of one email every two to three days from Barack and/or Michelle Obama. That’s about 35 emails that I have no use for. All of them have the word “Change” in them. 99 percent also have a link beginning with the word “Donate.”
This has to fucking stop.
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When I bumped into the doorman of our Madison Avenue headquarters this morning, he was pointing his cigarette skyward. Towering above us was what looked like one of those huge inflatable rats, perched atop a black pickup truck. A rat! How delightful! "Nah, I think it's a gorilla," said the doorman. Indeed, while the bloated body, curled tail and pointed claws belonging to the typical union rat, this thing has got the distinctive low-browed, snub-nosed face of a gorilla.
"Did you see the monster?" our receptionist asked when I arrived on the 16th floor. I headed back outside for another look, and Franklin Ortega, a member of Laborers Local 78, was handing out flyers, stood ready to offer elucidation. He confirmed that it was a gorilla. The unions use gorillas, rats, and cucarachas (cockroaches) interchangeably. We were getting bored of those rats, and we feel that its evolution into some sort of urban satyr may be a sign of Darwinian progress.
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