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James Greene Jr.

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8 Million Stories: Anarchy Next To Home Depot

JAMES GREENE, JR., heads to Brooklyn’s Free Store for wacky sidewalk finds

By James Greene Jr. | October 13,2010
Dont know what I want, but I know how to get it, Johnny Rotten snarled decades ago in the first verse of Anarchy in the U.K. No better sentence serves to describe Brooklyns Free Store, the anarchist give-and-take that popped up on Walworth Street in Bed-Stuy this summer. more
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Uptown Outback

The Sunburnt Calf brings a bit of Australia to the Upper West Side

By James Greene Jr. | July 7,2010
ACCORDING TO THE back of its menu, The Sunburnt Calf got its name from owner Heathe St. Clair’s beloved heifer Bessie, who filled his childhood with laughter and wonder until the day she was accidentally left outside too long in the Australian sun. Cows can’t really recover from sunburns, so Bessie had to be put down. I have to admit, reading the tale of a euthanized cow wasn’t exactly how I wanted to start my Upper West Side dinner, but how can you argue with a restaurant that offers tableside keg service and shark meat? more

Flavor of the Week: My Checkered Past

How crabmeat and Jimmy Carter ruined a sexy weekend for JAMES GREENE, JR.

By James Greene Jr. | June 9,2010
SOME PEOPLE PROBABLY look at Paul Westerberg’s face on the cover of the Replacements album Don’t Tell A Soul and feel warm, flannel-like waves of nostalgia wash over their bodies; others may merely be reminded of an uneventful stint during the first Gulf War. Me, I look into Paul’s droopy visage and am instantly reminded of a kinky weekend getaway gone awry, a weekend that included embarrassing underwear, imitation crabmeat and Jimmy Carter. more

8 Million Stories: Who the Hell Is Luther Burbank?

JAMES GREENE, JR., discovers strange historical bedfellows at the Hall of Fame for Great Americans

By James Greene Jr. | May 12,2010
THE PLAN, IF the security guard manning the entrance to Bronx Community College dared to stop our non-registered asses from marching on campus, was to say we were paranormal investigators. Indeed, it seems your institution of higher learning is quite haunted, so the dean called us. more

Passing the Bar: Carnival

JAMES GREENE, JR., is gonna win that Mötley Crüe mirror if it fucking kills him

By James Greene Jr. | March 9,2010
LIQUOR, BB GUNS and goldfish. It doesn’t seem like the smartest combination outside of rural Kentucky until the context is revealed: These elements are all part of Manhattan’s midway-themed bar Carnival, located directly above Bowlmor near Union Square. Now all the thrills you experienced as a child when your parents would drag you away from television to visit the local county fair are centrally located in one fantastical watering hole. more

Physical Greasefiti

Led Zeppole provides the East Village with carnie delights

By James Greene Jr. | February 24,2010
Who knew those giant hunks of fried dough dusted with powdered sugar and sold at large outdoor events like the Suffolk County Boat Show had a proper name? They’re called zeppole (pronounced “zep-PO-lee”), and are generally aligned with Italian celebrations in honor of St. Joseph’s Day, which falls on Mar. 19. Saint Joseph, of course, is one of those Bo Jackson saints, claiming various domains to his patronage, including engineers and craftsmen, the New World, peaceful death and even fighting communism. more

8 Million Stories: The Vampire Peacock Memorial

JAMES GREENE, JR., visits a Staten Island Burger King that remembers its fallen fowl

By James Greene Jr. | February 3,2010
Thursday, June 28, 2007, sometime before noon: A colorful pheasant materialized near the drive-thru window of the Burger King located at 7100 Amboy Rd. on Staten Island. Employees walked outside to greet the peacock with offerings of love and bread. Moments later, John Potts, 32, an area man with a known history of mental issues, entered the parking lot and began violently attacking the bird. more

Crystal Ball Drop

New York psychics make their predictions for 2010

By James Greene Jr. | December 30,2009
With 2009 almost a squashed bug on the windshield of humanity, we force ourselves to stare 2010 in the face and wonder, “What the hell kind of crazy stuff is gonna happen this year?” Indeed, we’d all like to know ahead of time the erractic turns the economy, the weather and our sex lives are going to take. New York Press is on the case; we tracked down a few of our city’s finest clairvoyants to see what their powers could glean for Oh Ten. more

Hitting The Mark

Tiny little burgers prove a worthy match for a man-sized appetite

By James Greene Jr. | December 22,2009
YOU KNOW WHAT New Yorkers love more than multi-billion dollar baseball dynasties, scoffing at out-of-towners and the smell of hot garbage in the summertime? Sliders. No, not the Jerry O’Connell sci-fi show from the mid-nineties, the miniature variety of hamburger commonly found at such grease institutions as White Castle and Krystal. more

Flavor of the Week: Electric Teenage Lust

A pale, pubescent JAMES GREENE, JR. plugs it in at a power station

By James Greene Jr. | November 18,2009
I WANT TO have sex,” she announced politely but firmly, like a little girl demanding a new doll. “Where can we go to do that?” Not anywhere around here, I thought as I looked around the barren park where we were lunching. There was a devastating lack of shrubbery; surely we would be spotted fornicating like the wild dogs we were from every conceivable spot in this obstruction-free landscape. more
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