When it comes to generating buzz, you’ve got to give CBS props. The network’s new “Kid Nation” brewed up a blizzard of controversy this summer when word got out that the reality show’s preadolescent contestants had allegedly been endangered, including “accidentally” drinking bleach. The headlines no doubt boosted ratings for last Wednesday’s premiere, and also probably kept some viewers from checking out the return of the CW’s “America’s Next Top Model,” which came blazing back with less fanfare—and, more surprisingly, less cruelty.
“ANTM” co-producer and hostess Tyra Banks, with her King Cobra eyes, kicked off the show’s ninth “cycle” (don’t ask) by whisking 30 wannabes away on a Caribbean cruise—then shipwrecking the rejects on an island. Stock characters prevail among the survivors. There’s the Bitchy Girl, Ebony, whose mean veneer cracked once Tyra went all therapist and prodded about her crackhead mama. There’s the Nerd Girl, Victoria, who got seasick but still hurled into the final 13. And then there’s humpbacked Heather, the cycle’s most intriguing personality and certainly the contestant picked for buzz potential. Not only is she an awkward type who never expected to make it this far, but Heather also has Asperger Syndrome, which is sort of like autism and very hot this year. Can you smell a Cinderella story?
Fans of “ANTM” have come to cherish Banks’ arbitrary brutality, a staple of a series known for ripping its fledgling fashionistas to couture shreds, but her fangs didn’t come out during the premiere. Sure, one contestant was forced to dance “like a centipede,” and several got slammed for their lack of poise. But for the most part, Banks held her tongue and instead mugged as a cheesy cruise ship entertainer. You won’t see shtick like this on Bravo’s always-satisfying “Project Runway,” though “ANTM” may provide an adequate fashion fix until “Runway’s” mid-November return.
Until then, we can only hope that the storm’s a-coming and Hurricane Tyra will soon unleash her full fury on these unsuspecting fem-bots. For now, at least nobody had to drink bleach.
