50 Things You’re
Not Supposed to Know
By Russ Kick
Disinformation Books
128 pages, $9.95
The Official Movie Plot
Generator
By Jason and Justin Heimberg
Brothers Heimberg Publishing
30 pages, $15.00
Russ Kick is the editor of three previous Disinfo anthologies with titles like You Are Being Lied To and Everything You Know Is Wrong. Like those books, you needn’t read 50 Things in any particular order. Just let the pages flick across your thumb and learn that "the Bayer Company made heroin" and "the world’s museums contain innumerable fakes."
Jason and Justin Heimberg’s The Official Movie Plot Generator is larger than 50 Things and pushes the concept of page-flipping to an even higher level. As much device as book, it provides readers with an actual movie plot generator (MPG) made up of three sets of cards stacked horizontally in a spiral notebook. Flip the cards and you have yourself a movie plot–one of more than 27,000 possible combinations.
A first stab at playing producer results in: "America’s founding fathers...rise from the grave...with a wise-cracking robot." Sort of Mel Gibson meets Albert Brooks. Next: "A single mom...hides out in the witness protection program...in this heartwarming animated adventure." Is Julia Roberts available for voiceovers?
Flip to Russ Kick’s 50 Things and learn that "Adolf Hitler’s blood relatives are alive and well in New York State." Meanwhile, in Hollywood, the Heimberg formula suggests a plot in which "A nerdy computer whiz...discovers a hidden talent for dance...eventually killing everyone involved in a violent bloodbath" before venturing into Danny DeVito territory with "A grumpy midget...travels through time...in order to pay off a gambling debt." Not to be outdone, 50 Things tells us "Genetically-engineered humans have already been born."
As if competing with 50 Things, the MPG then channels David Lynch: "The Sesame Street puppets...try to lose their virginity...in a Vietnamese prison camp." To which 50 Things replies: "One of the Popes wrote an erotic book." The race is on.
MPG: A gangsta rapper...comes out of the closet...in the heart of Amish country. 50 Things: Winston Churchill believed in a worldwide Jewish conspiracy.
MPG: A group of Orthodox rabbis...become pimps...in this documentary narrated by James Earl Jones. 50 Things: Lincoln didn’t free any slaves.
50 Things: Two atomic bombs were dropped on North Carolina. MPG: A burned-out hippie...hits the karaoke circuit...deep in the Compton ghetto.
MPG: Jesus...battles an advancing horde of insectoid aliens...with the help of former tennis great Ivan Lendl (based on a true story). 50 Things: Work kills more people than war.
It seems truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Happy flipping.
