Michael Jackson Pub Crawl—I'll Be There!

Mere days after the sudden death of the eccentric pop legend, Grub Street reports that bars in the East Village are already planning a way to celebrate his legacy with binge drinking. The "King of Pop Pub Crawl" will begin at the Village Pourhouse at 11 (a.m.!) on July 11.  The seven hour marathon includes a nauseating series of drinks from "Black and White" cocktails to "King of Pop-sicles" margaritas.  Now that it's socially acceptable to be a fan of Michael Jackson, publicists even expressed their excitement by sending out press releases that said "Don't stop 'til you get enough....Whooo!"  Attendees will each receive a white glove (sans Pepsi can) and will be encouraged to whip out random crotch grabs after trying to moonwalk in a straight line after a few hours worth of Jesus juice.  The event will end with a participatory "Thriller" dance, sure to make the $20 ticket well worth it.  If you're lucky, by the time you reach SideBAR faces will start to morph, and some kind soul will toss you a blanket to cover your face after you retch.