Summer Guide 2009: Comedy

this is new york strapped for cash but still want to see comedy on a saturday night? get some nachos and a can of tecate as derrick comedy presents a free stand-up and variety show every saturday at long island city's new comedy club. may through june, the creek, 10-93 jackson ave. (at 11th st.), queens, 718-706-8783, www.creeklic.com, 8, free

doug benson doug benson is a stoner of the year winner from high times, the star of super high me and one of the writers/performers of the hit off-broadway show the marijuana-logues. to prepare for his stand-up show, you should, well, i think you get the point. may 28-31, caroline's on broadway, 1626 broadway (betw. 49th and 50th sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, $26.75

freestyle love supreme from the minds that brought you the grammy- and tony award-winning musical in the heights comes an improvised blend of music, comedy and freestyle rap. june 1, july 6, aug. 3, comix, 353 w. 14th st. (betw. 8th and 9th aves.), 212-524-2500, www.comixny.com, 9, $20/$25

monday evening stand-up every other monday, head over to greenpoint to stuff your face with free candy while you laugh at some new comics. i can't promise the candy or the jokes will be as good as laffy taffy, but it's worth a gamble. hosted by jennifer dziura of the williamsburg spelling bee. june 1, 15, 29, july 13, 27, aug. 10, 24, pete's candy store, 709 lorimer st. (betw. richardson and frost sts.), brooklyn; 7:30, free chipper is still working out the kinks in his stand-up act, but we're sure this young-adult hound mix has a big career ahead of him. photo by christopher appoldt; photo illustration by mitchell hoffman sketchfest nyc forget watching reruns from when snl was funny, get over to ucb to see three days of the country's best sketch comedy. some highlights include kevin mcdonald (kids in the hall), kristen schaal (flight of the conchords), chicago's steve and jordan and l.a.'s summer of tears. june 11-13, upright citizens brigade theatre, 307 w. 26th st. (betw. 8th and 9th aves.), 212-366-9176, www.sketchfestnyc.com comedy central park if you're tired from chasing around girls in bikinis on the great lawn with a bottle of sunscreen in your hands, laugh it off over at summer stage at the third annual stand-up show. this year, they've got two insanely energetic comics: gabriel iglesias and pablo francisco. june 19, central park summer stage (at 63rd st.), 212-360-2756, www.summerstage.org, 8, free

channel 101 if you thought there was nothing new on tv in the summer, think again. at every show, channel 101 presents five prime time shows and new pilot submissions. show up and vote for your favorite show you want to see again, or the worst show you want cancelled. if only it were that easy on real tv. july 1 and aug. 5, 92ytribeca, 200 hudson st. (at canal st.), 212-601-1000, ny.channel101.com, 8:30 p.m., $6

all points west comedy tent before you cry when my bloody valentine leaves the stage because tool's up next, laugh it up with the new comedy tent at apw. the liberty state park fest expands into comedy with an impressive three-day lineup featuring arj barker, eugene mirman, tim and eric, michael showalter, judah friedlander, jim jeffries, todd barry, janeane garofalo and collegehumor live. july 31- aug. 2, liberty state park, jersey city, n.j., 201-915-3440, www. libertystatepark.org, $89 a day

kristin schaal one of the funniest new yorkers you still don't know, kristin schaal (flight of the conchords and the daily show) has four nights at caroline's so you can check her out. aug. 6-9, caroline's on broadway, 1626 broadway (betw. 49th and 50th sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, $26.75

del close marathon cheap beer and 150 shows. non-stop improv for three days straight. is there anything better in the world? no. damn, i just broke an improv rule. ucb's marathon, celebrating the life of improv pioneer del close, is the best improv comedy festival in the world. expect to see amy poehler, matt walsh, ian roberts, matt besser, horatio sanz and other comedians from snl, the daily show, the colbert report, 30 rock and more. aug. 14-16, upright citizens brigade theatre, 307 w. 26th st. (betw. 8th and 9th aves.), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheatre.com

ug! comedy show! leave your law and order reruns and six-pack of coors light (tall) and spend a tuesday night in murray hill at the new ug! comedy show. every tuesday, underground lounge, 613 2nd ave. (betw. 33rd and 34th sts.), 212-683-3000, www.undergroundny.com, free

wrong side of the head with colin kane come on, what else are you doing on a tuesday night? get your ass over to caroline's, sit up front and get insulted by the baddest comic in the city, colin kane. every tuesday, may through june, caroline's on broadway, 1626 broadway (betw. 49th and 50th sts.), 212-757-4100, www.carolines.com, 9:30 p.m., $18

megawatt at magnet reward yourself for surviving hump day with a cheap improv show in chelsea. every week, you'll get a different show of magnet regulars from groups such as the boss, hello laser, junior varsity, moxie, team x, dynasty, crush, phooka, featherweight, harlequin and chet watkins. every wednesday, magnet theater, 254 w. 29th st. (betw. 7th and 8th aves.), 212-244-8824, www.magnettheater.com, 7, 8:30, 10, $5

shrink "when you shrink, you come closer together." i think that works with drinking, too. every wednesday, erase the work day with a few $2 pbrs 'til 8 and stick around for a free stand-up/variety show 'til 9:30. hosted by sharon "mama" spell. every wednesday, otto's shrunken head, 538 e. 14th st. (betw. aves. a and b), 212-228-2240, www.ottosshrunkenhead.com, 8, free

asssscat 3000 if you wanted to go back to being religious this summer, get over to ucb every sunday for the long running crazy improv show asssscat. you'll get a warm sense of community standing in line for hours to get front-row seats. you'll get bread and wine (goldfish from gristedes and yes, ucb's got wine). you'll also get worship, only substitute horatio sanz for that long-haired galilean. every sunday, upright citizens brigade theatre, 307 w. 26th st. (betw. 8th and 9th aves.), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheatre.com, 7:30, $10, 9:30, free

sunday night live live from new york it's sunday night?! that's right. screw saturday. go check out some up-and-comers in stand-up every week. you can learn the names of the faces you see on vh1 and comedy central. hosted by jamie roberts. every sunday, new york comedy club, 241 e. 24th st., (betw. 2nd and 3rd aves.), 212-696-5233, www.newyorkcomedyclub.com, 8 p.m., $5/$10

rodeo's new weekly stand-up manhattan's popular honky-tonk music joint takes a stab at comedy with a free lineup of stand-ups every week this summer. if the comedy matches the environment, expect some of the best roadkill and redneck jokes the city can offer. every wednesday, rodeo bar, 375 3rd ave. (at 27th st.), 212-683-6500, www.rodeobar.com, 7:30, free