Babeland in Brooklyn: Park Slope Gets Their Sex Toys Closer to Home—Including an Artificial Cunnilingus Machine

| 11 Nov 2014 | 02:01

    Yes! Yes! Yes!

    Sex toys have changed from the do-it-yourself days when a kitchen appliance could, with a little improvisation, be used as a vibrator to a [billion-dollar industry]. [Babeland](http://www.babeland.com), best known for giving the Rabbit to the masses (via Sex & the City), has been bringing city dwellers in New York, L.A. and Seattle the latest innovations in orgasm-inducing pleasure for nigh-on 15 years. And, as of last week, women-owned Babeland has officially made its next move and [crossed the river to Brooklyn](http://www.babeland.com/about/new-york-brooklyn-store/). 

    Nestled next to a maternity store on the edge of baby-stroller-ville in Park Slope, the shop’s shelves were filled with sleek objects that looked more like Apple products than the G-spot seeking devices they were. Back in the day, most toys bore more than a passing resemblance to a penis, complete with wobbly bits, fleshy tones and even the odd blue vein or two. While Babeland still stocks a few dildos of this ilk, pride of place in the store was given over to rows of vibrators with dainty names like Le Petit Ami, Gigi, Delight, and Iris. This being Park Slope, Babeland also stocks eco-friendly toys made out of sustainable wood, covered with a special eco-varnish to avoid any nasty splinters. At the back, there’s an impressive range of harnesses, and some lite-bondage gear, including something every New Yorker probably needs: Under the bed harness straps (because seriously, who has bed posts anymore?)

    Babeland also carries a few unusual-looking tricks. If the phallic-shaped toys don’t appeal, then it offers the Tuyo (a vibrating ball), the Cone (you sit on it, or stick it to the wall and, er, reverse your ass into it), and [the SaSi]. The last of these is a brand new creation by a British company with the distinctly un-British sounding name [Je Joue](http://www.jejoue.com/). The Sasi is battery-operated and shaped like a curvy iPhone. Turn it on, and a little nubby thing starts to move under the surface of the latex skin, up and down, up and down, left and right, or in circular motions.  It’s cunnilingus, with an artificial tongue: A major breakthrough in the world of female orgasms.  It has five speeds, five different motions, and, most importantly, some kind of artificial intelligence thing going on: In “Learn Mode”, it remembers what you like, and what you don’t. It even has a button labeled “Don’t Stop.” This sounds priceless, but unlimited oral sex can be had for the bargain price of $180 (and it comes in pink, purple or black.) But you can’t get it yet; Babeland are making you wait a week or two more before they start selling the things. What a tease.

    Last week, a maternity class was going on in the shop next door; one woman, who had attended to help a friend, had escaped to Babeland, and was refreshing herself with a glass of red wine. Apparently the class was about the different cab companies you could use in Brooklyn to take you to hospital when your waters broke. No wonder she needed sex toys, and a drink. A few moms were scanning the aisles with their young kids, reminding us of the occasional end-product of some sex, while a couple of female college friends were reunited at the cash register. One greeted the other with the observation that they hadn’t seen each other in years, and now here they were at a sex shop. The fact that it wasn’t super-awkward speaks volumes for the kind of relaxed atmosphere Babeland seems to be trying to cultivate. As the two left the store together, a woman in a black business suit and toting a Saks bag walked past, stopped, and peeked in the window. Here comes the neighborhood.