Beer, Body Hair and Beauty

Jan. 20 marks the 13th annual Mr. Lower East Side Pageant. For those not in the know, it's similar to the Mr. Universe competition, except with less muscles, less silicone and a lot more body hair and beer. The Mr. LES competition, hosted by Saint Reverend Jen, gets more and more raucous every year as contestants flex their creative muscles for the coveted crown (Moonshine Shorey, three time Mr. LES winner, will finally be giving up his title!) Anyone can enter and he need not live on the LES! Contestants must prepare for a one-minute talent competition, a swimsuit competition, eveningwear and question and answer. Contestants must show up to Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, by 9:30 to sign up. Every gay man and every woman who attends is automatically a judge, but must be punctual as incomplete ballots will not be accepted. Ballots are to be calculated by the legendary computer BallSac. There will also be surprise celebrity judges and performers. The lucky man, or woman dressed as a man, will rule the area south of Houston and east of the Bowery with their crown-complete with a detachable bong. The chosen sovereign will also receive a six pack of Budweiser and a slice of pizza from Rosario's, while the runner-up will don a smaller, vagina-shaped crown for the remainder of the year. Prizes also to be given for "best male tits," "congeniality" and "best nutsack."