Blue Jays’ Suckage Reaches New High

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The New York Yankees benefited from some much-needed luck last night, when Toronto reliever Jeremy Accardo did his best Chicken Little impression and balked home the game-tying run in the bottom of the ninth. Then, one inning later, a wild-pitch by Casey Janssen moved Alex Rodriguez to second, before Robinson Cano delivered a walk-off single to give the [Yankees a 3-2 win] and cap the wild ending.

The Toronto meltdown came just one inning after Kyle Farnsworth paraded his own shortcomings, when he allowed an Aaron Hill double that broke a 1-1 tie in the eighth. In a mind-boggling statistic, Farnsworth has now failed to retire the side in 18 out of his last 19 appearances. How is that possible? More perplexingly, how does Farnsworth still have a job? A six-year-old girl could underhand the ball toward the plate, and—at least twice out of 19 times—all three batters would line out to the defense. According to the [Transitive Property of Equality], Farnsworth is actually less effective during this latest stretch than a six-year-old girl.

On the plus side, New York [moved within eight games] of the AL East’s first-place Boston Red Sox and within seven games of the Wild Card-leading Cleveland Indians, after both teams suffered losses. If the Yankees could only face Toronto’s bullpen every night, they might actually be able to get back in the postseason race.

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