Check It Before You Sext It

by Rebecca Hoffman

Though it is important to keep up to date with the latest technology it isn't necessary to whore yourself out on all of them. By all means, if you want to post half naked shots of yourself on every social networking site no one is going to stop you, but doing so does come with a certain amount of risk.

On-line dating is one thing, but sexting and cyber sex are another ballpark. If you're going to do it then do it with someone you trust and know the potential risks, kind of like with real sex. Unlike a one-night stand, which you can forget about the next morning, sexting and other technological sexual practices can leave long-term affects. Your picture can stay on someone's phone or laptop much longer than you anticipated and it's only a few clicks away from going viral. If you have any doubts about that just google 'my ex-girlfriend.'

Technology accelerates things and like anything else in society today it only takes a short while for these changes to warp sex too. Sex was once about intimacy, love, and a genuine connection. Over time it has become a much more casual thing, but there is still something a bit too impersonal about it being in a text. It is one thing to write a steamy love letter, but it is another to text someone a stupid dirty acronym or suggestive picture; frankly, it just seems lazy. Personally, I find a guy being confident and suave a lot more attractive than a lone picture of his nether regions. A little hard work and romance can go a long way, and be a lot more satisfying.

Besides, with sexting, or many other types of electronic interactions, you can't see what's happening on the other end. So that picture you sent could've been ogled at or forwarded to a room full of people. And what do most people do when they receive a dirty picture? Well, a good amount of them will show their friends, either to brag about or, more likely, mock the sender. One blessing and curse about technology is that it makes it easy to share information, whether that information is important or dirty is inconsequential. The point is indefinite amounts of people could see was probably intended for one pair of eyes.

So why do it? I'm sure there are an array of reasons, but a common one is that it makes the sender feel 'sexy.' No matter how modest you may be everyone-everyone-wants to feel desired. Sending a dirty picture can illicit this. Sexting also allows for a strange sense of anonymity, despite how much is being shown, and this often evokes a type of boldness people might lack face to face. It might be improper to ask someone if they are horny over coffee, but texting it doesn't seem so out of line. However, if you're not mature enough to just say it, or show it, to the person in person then you probably shouldn't be texting it. Besides, all this online or textualized sex talk boils down to being nothing more than assisted masturbation. So instead of making an inerasable mistake why not just take the other hand and put it to good use?