Getting Dumped: There's Plenty of Fish in the NYSea
I was dumped recently, and along with the advice of my mother to freeze my eggs, a good friend simply said, "There's plenty of fish in the NY Sea." And the more distance I get from the dumping, the more I can't think of a better place in the world to be dumped. Because it's true ? there are plenty of fish in the NY Sea, especially if by fish you mean men and by sea you mean bars/museums/parks/etc.
I should preface the rest of this with a note on the relationship: it was brief (all of three months), and left me completely drained by someone who insisted on constantly asserting my inferiority (although in hindsight, it's plain to see all his actions towards me were born of his own insecurities). He wasn't a bad guy, he was just a guy, and unfortunately he wasn't equipped to be in a relationship of equals.
So he dumped me. Yeah I hear ya, I should have dumped him. But I'm one of these really annoyingly competitive people that doesn't have a "too hard" basket. To put it in perspective: I've watched all the Twilight movies because after watching the first two, I thought it would be more rewarding to plough through than to give up. As it turns out, there is absolutely nothing rewarding about Twilight, but I'll still be front and centre when the last movie comes out ? because I can't not be. I'm the same way in relationships ? I have to try to make them work, never say die, defeat is not an option. I'm like a commercial for electrolytes.
Getting dumped was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Maybe because I saw it coming, or maybe because although I loved him and wanted to be with him, it was a huge relief to have someone do the thing that I couldn't. Regardless, I walked away from the dumping feeling a concoction of emotions that together, gave me a certain empty feeling in my knees. It was a mixture of elation and despair.
Later that day I cried through brunch with my mum and a movie with a friend (Young Adult, I kept thinking "oh this is going to be me in 10 years" and bursting into tears), but woke the next day with a new sense of determination and resolved to just get right back on the horse (sexy innuendo not intended); to dip my toes in the NY Sea. In that vein, I did four things.
The first was signing up to online dating for the first time ever, but more on that next week. The second was getting inexcusably drunk with a girlfriend later that week. I'm talking "beer and a shot" drunk. The third thing was falling into bed with the criminally handsome man I'd been dating over summer. In my defense, after months of being with someone who refused to tell me I looked pretty even when I was all dolled up for a fancy date, I deserved to get naked with someone who takes every opportunity to tell me I am sexy (because I am). And also, more importantly, don't forget how drunk I am at this point.
The third thing I did, and probably the most important, was stop taking it all so seriously. Out with another girlfriend, this time "bottle of red wine" drunk (the worst kind of drunk because it gets harder and harder to keep your eyes open and it looks like you're either giving everyone the stink eye or inviting them to bed), and gratuitously flirting with a cute bartender, it came upon me to write my number on a dollar bill and tip it to him. He never called. But the giggles, the irreverence of it all, and the sheer fun I had with my friend - that was what made getting dumped in New York City all the more easy to bear. Because I can wear a cute dress, get a gorgeous girl on my arm, walk into any given bar on any given night and make a complete fool of myself with all manner of beautiful men. Splashing in the NY Sea certainly is a delight - especially when you stop caring about whether or not one will bite (see what I did there?).
Follow Kat on Twitter: @kat_george
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