Get Serious About Dating; King Missile/Bongwater Spawn New Band; Tiger Mountain Makes Steve Miller Cool Again; X-ecutioners and X-treme Videos

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"I teach, among other things, how to access your instinct, your intuition and your deeper wisdom so that you can assess a new prospect," Wininger says. Excuse me? I thought dating was about humiliation and (maybe) theft.

"Wisdom is crucial, because let's face it?most dates lead nowhere," Wininger reasons. This week he is going to go over the best places to meet somebody new ("I've met women on the subway, I've met women at the bus stop, I've met women on the movie line") and how you can start a conversation anywhere.

"Especially now, post-9/11, people want to be bonding and connecting more than ever," he says. "This is the first post-11 spring and it's going to be a very happy hunting season."

Heck, you might not even have to hunt outside of the workshop. Charlie Wininger's get-together will likely attract 60 people, 50 percent male and 50 percent female. "One thing I'm doing on April 12 is some theater improv with everyone to loosen everyone up and get them into a more spontaneous place," he explains.

Charlie Wininger's RelationShop course is $325, but this Friday's hoo-hah is totally free, so step up. Proceedings begin 7 p.m. at the SLC Conference Center (22 W. 34th St., betw. 5th & 6th Aves., 244-8888).

...Now, when I get guitarist Dave Rick on the phone, formerly of King Missile, I ask him the dumb question that anybody would ask. I ask him if he still gets money from his old band's hit, "Detachable Penis." (Remember that song? No? Well, it goes "De-tachable peee-nis" and it's about a detachable penis.)

"Hello? Hello, is this working? Hello?" Dave responds. "I thought the press would know more about this than lay people would know. No! I don't make any money off that song."

Dave's been through the rock 'n' roll wringer more than once with King Missile and the avant-garde group Bongwater; he's taken plenty of "Detachable Penis" questions.

"I'm curious myself in my office when it's like, 'Dave, you're on the radio again.' And I figure we get played on K-Rock and KROQ in L.A. every day, but no, no one buys our records so we don't make money... We sold 80,000 records, and that's shit."

Dave is currently testing the waters with a new band, Dr. Mom. In some ways it's a supergroup of the art rock that flourished on New York's Shimmy-Disc label in the late 80s; the other members are Roger Murdock (ex-King Missile), Stuart Popejoy and Ann Magnuson (ex-Bongwater). These nutcases brought us tracks like "Dazed and Chinese" (Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused" sung in Mandarin, from Bongwater's first album) and they're coming to Galapagos this Wednesday to spread that new sound.

"Last year, we put a song on a compilation disc called Colonel Jeffrey Pumpernickel," Dave explains. "That song was called 'Dr. Mom' so we said fuck it, let's call the band Dr. Mom. Let's just keep it up... Ann had to be in town this week because she's required to go to jury duty and we were like, 'Hey, let's do some songs.'"

Expect reworked Bongwater tunes, humorous covers and developing material at the show. Also check out openers the Martinets, another band that Dave Rick plays in. They do true-grit revivalist punk.

"We're all those kind of people who, no matter what day job we have, we need to go out at the end of the day and do this thing," Dave says of his musical aspirations. Dr. Mom and the Martinets perform this Wednesday at Galapagos (70 N. 6th St., betw. Wythe & Kent Aves., Williamsburg, 718-782-5188). The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $10. Expect old scenesters.

...Also in the world of veteran NY rock, Arlene Grocery hosts Tiger Mountain on Thursday. This is another band whose members are cluster-fucked back to the early 90s. I got to speak with bass player Dean Rispler, who also plays in the Brought Low and who produced last year's terrific Bad Wizard record. It doesn't end there.

"I played in Murphy's Law and I also played in Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black... I've been playing bass professionally in New York since 1992," says Dean. "It's been kinda terrible. I think Manhattan has gotten really bad, in terms of the clubs. The thing that's cool about it is that there's been a shift of focus over to Brooklyn?Northsix is the best club in New York right now."

Tiger Mountain does sparse, harmony-rich 70s rock a la Steve Miller. The songs are there and so is the buzz?what's interesting is that guys from Murphy's Law and Nada Surf are getting lumped with the Strokes and written up in Rolling Stone. Dean doesn't mind.

"I really didn't want to like the Strokes, but you know what, their record's not bad," he muses. "At least younger kids are like, 'Oh, I like this stuff,' instead of listening to some sort of bizarre version of this new techno that comes out every two weeks."

Tiger Mountain is currently working on a debut album. They play Arlene Grocery (95 Stanton St., betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts., 358-1633) Thursday at 9 p.m. The monster bill includes five other bands, but I haven't heard of any of them so they're probably bad.

...If you're looking for a different kind of proven act, go down to B.B. King's and check out the X-ecutioners on Tuesday. This NYC supergroup of DJs comes into town as part of the Adrenaline Tour sponsored by SoBe Adrenaline Rush soda, the "MAXIMUM ENERGY SUPPLEMENT" that contains Siberian ginseng and taurine. ("Get it up, keep it up, any questions?" is the, uh, motto.)

The X-ecutioners were formed in 1989, a quartet (now a trio)of legendary DJs pursuing that rarest of birds?longevity in hiphop. They worked throughout the 90s toward a 1997 record contract (rare for a bunch of turntablists) and recently released their second album, Built from Scratch, on Sony. Built from Scratch hit MTV and landed the X-ecutioners on the Billboard 200.

The Adrenaline Rush tour doesn't stop there (get it up, keep it up, remember?). It also features a slew of extreme-sports videos to be played before the X-ecutioners, from Crusty Demons (The 7th Mission) to Logic 10. Many of these videos are still in production, so if you're an extreme-sports "enthusiast," you owe it to yourself to check them out. Also, as is to be expected, the B.B. King screens will be graced by Jackass' Steve-O and Bam Margera, who appear in the skate/hijinks/I-can't-believe-they're-not-dead videos CKY2K and CKY3.

Opening the Adrenaline Tour are politically minded rappers the Coup, but it's hard to waste ink on a group that stepped into mainstream legitimacy by abandoning an album cover that showed the Twin Towers blowing up. It all goes down this Tuesday at B.B. King Blues Bar & Grill (237 W. 42nd St., betw. 7th & 8th Aves., 997-4144). Doors open at 8 p.m. and tickets are $15.

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