Not Quite Newsworthy

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•    My Hero: Not one to turn down a dare, a Brooklyn teen [climbed into a mailbox] yesterday, only to get stuck and subsequently pried out by cops. Oddly enough, the 16-year-old was not charged with mail tampering.
•    Organic Dates: The New York Sun reports that [Whole Foods Bowery]( boasts a thriving [Fauxbo]( pickup scene. A local 22-year-old Nolita girl told the paper that a 40-plus-year-old man held the door for her and asked, “Is this the exit for the beautiful girls?” Let’s not all rush over there at once.
•   Politically Incorrect: In Buffalo on Saturday, a bunch of thugs [beat an amputee]( with his own prosthetic leg. Richard Kelly, 43, suffered several broken ribs and a punctured lung, but is still thankful to the Lord that took his right leg from the knee down in a car accident eight years ago.
•    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: A New Jersey woman accidentally sold her mother’s .75 carat diamond and platinum wedding ring for $140 at a [church yard sale]( on July 7. She’s willing to pay upwards of 141 bucks to get it back.

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