San Fran Slaughter

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What the New York Giants defense did to San Francisco quarterback Trent Dilfer yesterday would be considered a crime in 23 out of the 50 US states. The G-Men sacked Dilfer six times, hit him on eight other occasions, forced four turnovers, beat his dog, stole his lunch money and possibly sodomized him during a [33-15 route] of the 49ers yesterday afternoon at the Meadowlands. It was New York’s fifth straight victory, and the win helped them remain just [one game behind]( first-place Dallas in the NFC East.

Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora, who has made a habit of raping opposing quarterbacks this season, continued his Pro-Bowl campaign by recording a sack, forcing a fumble, scooping the ball and returning it 75 yards for a touchdown all on the same play in the third quarter. “I don't think I have seen a guy get all four on one play,” said middle linebacker Antonio Pierce, whose fourth-quarter interception set up a touchdown on a day that the defense helped manufacture 24 points. Michael Strahan also got in on the fun, recording 2.5 sacks—his most in one game since 2003.

Meanwhile, the offense didn’t do too badly either. Amani Toomer’s 4-yard touchdown reception on the first drive of the game was the 49th of his career, passing the legendary Kyle Rote as the Giants all-time leader, and running back Brandon Jacobs ran for a career-high 107 yards and a touchdown on 18 carries. But obviously, the defense was the story. “I think when you’ve done what we're done the last four or five games…[even] before the game the quarterback is thinking about the rush,” said Strahan. Forgot before the game; Dilfer will be discussing Sunday’s assault with his therapist for a long time to come.

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