STAND-UP COMEDY BLUESTOCKING 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 330-8611. ...

172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 330-8611. FRI: "A Tina Named Desire: The Valentine's Day Special" with Neon Tina, 8, $6, $4 w/used book donation. SAT: TV Head, 12 a.m., $5 [through 11/20]

B. SMITH'S ROOFTOP CAFÉ

771 8th Ave. (47th St.), 592-3909. MON: Cary Hoffman sings Sinatra, benefits food for the needy, 7, $195.

CAROLINE'S COMEDY CLUB

1626 B'way (49th St.), 757-4100. Also see "Family." THURS: Paul Rodriguez, 8, $22.50 & 2 drink min.; Shang, 10, $18 & 2 drink min. FRI: Paul Rodriguez, 8 & 10:30, $26.50 & 2 drink min.; Shang, 12:30 a.m, $20 & 2 drink min. SAT: Paul Rodriguez, 6, 8 & 10:30, $26.50 & 2 drink min.; Shang, 6 & 12:30 a.m, $22 & 2 drink min. SUN: Paul Rodriguez, 7 & 8, $24.50 & 2 drink min.; Shang, 7 & 10, $18 & 2 drink min. MON: New talent night.

COMEDY CELLAR

117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 254-3480. Fri shows at 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min.; Sat shows at 9, 10:45 & 12:30, $10 + 2 drink min.; Sun-Thurs, one continuous show from 9-2, $5 + 2 drink min. WEDS-SUN: Colin Quinn, Darrell Hammond, Greer Barnes, Dave Attell, Kevin Brennan, Mitch Fatel. MON & TUES: Colin Quinn, Jim Norton, Greer Barnes, Greg Giraldo, Tom Papa.

COMIC STRIP LIVE

1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 861-9386. Sun.-Thurs. shows at 8:30, $8 & $9 min.; Fri. shows at 8:30, 10:30, 12:30, $12 & $9 min.; Sat. shows at 8, 10:15, 12:30, $12 & $9 min. WEDS: MC Kyle Dunnigan, Greer Barnes, Dan Naturman, Vanessa Hollingshead. THURS: MC William Stephenson, Ray Ellin, Lenny Marcus, Marla Schultz. FRI: MC Kerry McNally, Ray Ellin, J.J. Ramirez, Jim Breuer, Johnny Lampert, Teddy Smith. SAT: MC William Stephenson, Macio, Tom Papa, Buddy Bolton, Kerry McNally, Wali Collins. SUN: MC Tom Papa, Population 10, Russ Meneve, Joe Matarese, Lenny Marcus, Ali Simon, Kyle Dunnigan. MON: Audition night with Starla Muraz, free. TUES: MC Scott Blakeman, Kyle Dunningan, D.C. Benny, Wanda Sykes-Hall.

DANGERFIELD'S

1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd St.), 593-1650. Fri shows at 9 & 11:15, $15; Sat shows at 8, 10:30 & 12:30, $15-$20; Sun-Thurs, shows at 8:45, $12.50. WEDS-SUN: Tom Cotter, Nancy Redman, Gregory Carey, Jim McCue, Justin McKinney, Carrie Karavas. MON & TUES: Quentin Heggs, Jim Norton, Jerry Diner, Nancy Redman, Carrie Karavas, Joe Mulligan, John Rizzo.

gershwin hotel

7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 545-8000 or 718-832-3822. Also see "Improv." THURS: Host Patrick Borelli, 8, free.

GLADY'S COMEDY CLUB

145 W. 45th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 832-1762. FRI: Jim Gaffigan, Warren Holstein, Carolyn May, Julius Sharpe, Brett Duggan, Mike Singer & Gladys, 8, $12 + $10 min., half off for mentioning NYPress.

GOTHAM COMEDY CLUB

34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 367-9000. Weds. & Thurs., Sun.-Tues. shows at 8:30 & 2 drink min., $8. Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 10:30, $12 & 2 drink min. FRI & SAT: Billy Burr, Ted Alexandro, Louis Ramey. SUN: New talent showcase. TUES: New talent showcase.

STAND-UP NEW YORK

236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 595-0850. Weds.-Thurs., Sun.-Tues. shows at 7 & 9. Fri. shows at 7, 9, 11:30. Sat. shows at 8, 10, & 12:15, all shows $12. TUES: Black writer's sitcom comedy night, 7. WEDS: Funniest person from Queens contest, 7. THURS: Breakup Girl, 8:30, $8 & 2 drink min. FRI & SAT: Ted Alexandro, Paul Michael Mercurio, Rich Vos.