The War On Bad Grades

How do you get high-school students to study more? According to New York City philanthropists, the answer is to [bribe them]. A group of affluent do-gooders here in Manhattan will offer $1,000 to students who score 5s—the best possible score—on Advancement Placement exams, $750 for 4s and $500 for 3s. It’s a great moral message: “Education isn’t what’s important, it’s getting’ those Benjamins, Baby!”

The program will debut in 25 public schools and six private schools throughout the city beginning this year, and School Chancellor Joel Klein enthusiastically supports the initiative. In a released statement, he said he was “grateful” that the private group was “stepping up to tackle the critical goal of increasing the number of students who succeed on Advanced Placement tests.”

This program comes on the heels of [another initiative], headed by the Education Department, to pay fourth-grade students through seventh-grade students between $25 and $50 per standardized test if they receive good marks. Approximately 40 schools and 9,000 students have participated in that program this fall.

Some students even believe if they work hard enough and invest their test-earned money wisely, they won’t actually have to go to college anymore. Instead, they should have enough money saved up to buy drugs, begin selling them at higher prices and start making some real dough. Sounds like a great plan, Chancellor Klein.