100 DAYS WITH THE MERKL ADMINISTRATION
the media's examination of president obama's first 100 days made it clear that a lot can happen over a little more than three months. he had to keep his still-high popularity rating up, while trying to lower the rising federal deficit. he watched his economic-stimulus bill get passed, three of his nominees bow out due to tax issues and wall street crash, all while two wars still rage and we're in a recession. plus, he bailed out the financial-sector, froze white house salaries, ordered the closure of guantanamo bay, ended the ban on stem-cell research, lifted travel limits to cuba, dealt with pirates, went to europe on a hilary-esque "listening tour" as well as "home" to chicago for valentine's day, attended professional basketball games and got his shot on the tonight show.
as a busy new yorker, i decided to assess my own "100."
although no polls have been taken to verify, i feel confident that my popularity rating is up there. i've given generously in both time and money to my children's schools, hosted easter for more than 20 relatives and always get my work in on time. what's not to like?
i changed some tactics to gain more power where i govern by reaching across the aisle and assigning my teenage son the task of picking up my daughter from certain neighborhood activities. this went to the debate floor, but after invoking the "because i said so" privilege of the executive branch, my policies have been carried out.
i also made clear that it was time to trim spending and announced some freezes. although i know we are doling out less than we did around this time last year, i still find myself writing checks for sports team fees, bake sales and sneakers that "everybody has" as though i were j. paul getty. it seems every day is a bailout around here.
much to my chagrin, i have been quite weak on foreign affairs, but i blame the economy. as soon as things pick up, i am hoping to contact christian louboutin and louis vuitton to forge new and long-standing relationships. i also plan to begin talks with frederick fekkai for a future visit.
on the economic front, unemployment may not be down in my house, but there are no bonuses to recoup either. due to my brother-in-law steven's family vacation initiative, we have temporarily lifted the ban on summer travel for a long weekend in lake george.
looking ahead to the 2010 budget, education will be the priority since my son is starting high school and my daughter is entering middle school. perhaps in 2011, the merkl administration will put a more serious focus on public education. lack of sleep has caused me to create a stimulus package that includes a heavy investment in caffeine from my nearby starbucks and dunkin' donuts.
on the home front, i am preparing for a state of emergency just in case the swine flu should attack my children's schools or my husband's office.
toward the end of my 100 days, i also did battle with pirates, commonly known as the irs. they are still holding my money hostage. negotiations have proven fruitless.
for recreation, i too have attended basketball games-the non-professional kind played by my son-however, i still await my invitation to the tonight show, although the david letterman show would be more convenient. -- lorraine duffy merkl has been named humor writer of the month by the erma bombeck writers' workshop. her column appears every other week.