24/7: Zombie Sluts!

  If Woody Allen was right about sex and death coming only once in a lifetime, then the intersection of the two is an event not to be missed.The NYC Zombie Crawl on Oct. 26 culminates in undead burlesque and Hellraiser-style sado-sexualism.

After the mob of dolled-up zombies makes the rounds of downtown bars it will settle in at the Knitting Factory— where we’ve certainly wished we were dead before—and take part in activities that would make the living click their tongues.The Living Dead Girlz dance troupe will gyrate and undress in choreographed mayhem. Members of the Disgraceland Hook Squad will rig themselves with flesh hooks and engage in a “human tug-of-war.” And then there’s “Strip for Pain,” the game show in which participants tolerate increasing degrees of suffering in exchange for exposed flesh and lap dances from the zombie strippers.

“You would not believe the amount of people that would take this much pain to get a lap dance,” says Doug Sakmann, the event’s brain-eating organizer.

To kick the day of the undead off, zombies will convene at Beauty Bar, where free makeup will be provided to anyone who wishes to join in the crawl. From there, the mob will hit bars on the Lower East Side and move toward Washington Square Park, stopping at Whole Foods to pick up non-perishable goods (Cans! Caa-aaans!) for the hungry. After all, NYC Zombie Crawl is part a multicity celebration of zombie culture whose ultimate goal is to alleviate world hunger. It’s hard to understand why the undead would have this goal, but we can imagine that a healthy populace means more food for them in the long run. In the meantime, the route of the bar crawl will be littered with “victim” mannequins to feed upon. “If the zombies find them, they can rip them apart,” says Sakmann. “[They can] pull their arms off and pull their guts out and stuff.”