A MAN, I AM

First there was voting, then came equal pay for equal work, next the right to initiate divorce, have an abortion and, finally, an orgasm! That’s right, the next big thing in women’s lib is happening right here in New York, and it’s over the counter to boot. On Nov. 2, it was announced that women can finally “take control of their sexuality.” Wait, I thought that’s what we were doing by donning miniskirts and sleeping around. But this is even better. Helm Capital Group Inc. is partnering with Duane Reade to release Vibrel, which sounds like Viagra but feels like KY, throughout the metropolitan area. Yawn, you say; but this lube actually makes you hot, rather than merely making you appear to be. Upon applying the stuff, “a warm, flushing sensation in the genital area occurs, stimulating the engorgement that accompanies natural sexual arousal.” In other words, Vibrel doesn’t just make sex possible for all those dehydrated gals out there, as standard lubricants do—it makes sex better. And for only $19.99, you and your boy toy can enjoy the wonders of sexual equality without him having to do any work. Just make sure you split the cost.