Back to Basics

we're a decade into the millennium. how's that workin' out for ya?

since 2000, social networking is our new way to reach out and communicate. devices such as the iphone have lightened our load by placing in the palm of our hands a phone, camera, computer and various applications, all at once. and we made history by electing the first black president.

regardless of all these advancements, there are some tried and true basics that, by putting them into practice, might serve us better than making resolutions that we probably won't keep. we can find them by simply looking back at some of the past year's events:

1. a couple of months ago, who wouldn't have wanted to be tiger woods? young, handsome, successful-both professionally and personally, not to mention well regarded. now, who would want to be tiger woods? just maybe, comparing ourselves to others is a waste of time, and we should want what we already have.

2. upon hearing how tareq and michaele salahi got past the secret service to attend the white house state dinner, my first thought was, "those two wouldn't have gotten past my doorman." to prove this theory, i spoke with one of my building's sentinels, 32-year veteran erasmo acevedo.

ldm: what happens when people show up and ask to go upstairs?

ea: i call and tell the tenants they have guests. if they say ok, i let the people up.

ldm: what if the tenants say no or aren't home, but the guests want to go up anyway?

ea: they can't go up.

ldm: what if they are persistent and have a really good excuse and/or are really persuasive?

ea: they can't go up.

ldm: but, what if...?

ea: they can't go up.

(note to secret service: this is how it's done.)

if you are fortunate enough to have a job, especially in this economy, it's worth doing well.

3. some new york city denizens looked down their noses at the model/doorman marriage. new york state elected officials looked the other way when their constituents wanted same-sex marriage legalized. millions across the country watched when khloe kardashian married l.a. lakers player lamar odom in awe (at the e! spectacle) and horror (because the couple knew each other for only a month). according to divorcerate.com, "40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue."

perhaps this would not be the case if we stayed out of other people's marriages and took care of our own.

4. everyone snickered (some were even so bold as to lol) when susan boyle took the stage of britain's got talent looking like dan aykroyd in drag as julia child. people stopped laughing when she opened her mouth to sing "i dreamed a dream," which is now the name of her debut album that has sold over a million copies since thanksgiving.

clearly, simply looking at someone is not the way to decide who they are or of what they are capable.

5. and from my own personal bag of tricks: last year at this time, i was at my friend diane's holiday party whining (haranguing, complaining-pick one) because i didn't know how, or if, my novel would ever get published. now it's out.

things can change in a new york minute. keep believing.

incorporating even one of these could help you move into 2010 with a new attitude, which could lead to new behavior, which might lead to who knows what? happy new year.

-- lorraine duffy merkl's debut novel, fat chick, by the vineyard press, is available at amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.