Bash Compactor: Broadway Babies
Yo, run over to Symphony Space now! Theres more than 500 middle-aged well-dressed gay sugar daddies sitting right next to me, I texted to my favorite rent boy.
The fourth annual Broadway Beauty Pageant was the ideal event to meet a well-heeled homo. The house was packed, great news for the Ali Forney Center, since this was a benefit for the worlds largest group dedicated to providing shelter and services to homeless gay youth. And let me tell you something, therere a lot of kids thrown out in the cold, forced to sleep on the street. Carl Siciliano, executive director of the Ali Forney Center, gave an impassioned speech to touch the hearts and wallets of the audience. Citing some of the teens helped by the foundation, admitted to Brown University, law school and CNN internships, he asked, How could a parent reject their child just because they like the same sex?
Anyway, I was expecting a bunch of hunky brutes standing around on the stage in BVDs showing off their pecs, abs and big bulges, but au contraire, this was about the talent. All five contestants were starring in a Broadway show: Wes Hart (Mr. West Side Story), Eddie Pendergraft (Mr. Wicked), Daniel Soto (Mr. Fela), Rickey Tripp (Mr. In The Heights) and Charlie Williams (Mr. Memphis).
The beefcakes were attired in ho-hum suits, thoughcouldnt these boys spiff up a bit? This would never pass muster at the Miss America evening gown competition. The contestants traipsed onto the stage for the talent segment. I had no idea this was going to be a real live show, slick and professional. Hostess with the mostess, tart-tongued actress Tovah Feldshuh, regaled us with every Jewish joke in the book, including one from the legendary Sophie Tucker. Referring to a passionate boyfriend, it goes, For the next two weeks Im gonna be flat on my back with my legs wide open. And the reply is, Whats the matter, aint you got a vase? That was the kind of humor of the night.
On the right of the stage were the judges: the fabulous Christine Ebersol, legend Charles Busch and columnist Michael Musto, who was in fine satiric form. They all were ribbing the contestants a la American Idol, but these Broadway smartasses smacked the judges right back. Pendergraft, a short redheaded guy, isnt much of a looker, but he was the funniest of the bunch, ending his set with a drawing of the vagina forbidden territory for this crowd. Their loss, baby! Wes Hart sang a lovely Lady Gaga medley and played acoustic guitar. At long last, I understood the lyrics of Poker Face. The winner was Charlie Williams from Memphis. Yes, he was built, but Rickey Tripp from In the Heights did a series of yoga poses oiling down his muscles. Now thats talent.