Bash Compactor: Chicks, Dicks & Tricks
Billed as an evening of leather, it was the three-year anniversary for Allanah Starrs party at Fusion, a bar in Hells Kitchen for shemales and the guys who love em. But it turns out that Starr was in Paris. In her stead, Danni Daniels, shemale dominatrix, model and porn star fresh off a scandalous European tour, was playing hostess. And yes, she was with the mostess. Not only is Daniels a strapping 6-foot 1-inches (6-foot 4-inches in heels), according to the mouth-watering color pics on her website, shes packing 10 inches the thickness of a beer can in addition to a brand new set of 36Ds.
The room was packed with girls in tight, skimpy outfits and men whose tongues were practically hanging out of their mouths. I sat down at the bar next to a brunette and ordered myself a cocktail when glamazon Daniels walked by, a catburglar black mask painted over her eyes and large black tattoos of a blow-dryer and a pistol emblazoned on her chest. I asked to take her photo, but before we got down to business, the trollop next to me started a catfight. That bitch spit on me! Daniels sputtered.
We stormed out and jumped into a taxi bound for Providence at Club 57 a few blocks away for POPular, the venues newest party. It was almost 3 a.m. and Acid Betty, the statuesque hostess, wasnt there, but there was still a sprinkling of clubbers, like Mary Jo CamelToe and Krystal Something-Something of the wild performance troupe Backspace, and the ubiquitous DJ Johnny Dynell. Daniels left just in time to miss her ex, bodacious go-go boy Jose Rolon, who led me by the hand way upstairs to meet big-time promoter Tony Fornabaio. After a round of hugs and kisses, I called it a night. As I left, a guy on the sidewalk wearing a pale blue chiffon frock with gold glitter smeared all over his face, a pale pink-and blue wig and clown makeup called out after me, Come back, come back! Never one to pass up a trip on the yellow brick road, I greeted the colorful creature. I call myself Chip Cirrhosis, he said, because of my liver. Im a drunk. Good for you, I thought, marveling at the holiday miracle of another lost soul finding himself in the gutter. Happy Transgiving to one and all.