The National Arts Club celebrated its 110th anniversary last Tuesday night, with all the dignity one would expect. There was the clinking of glasses, the remembering of good times and a gigantic dildo sculpture that had Heatherette designer Richie Rich completely transfixed.
I trailed the designer as he slipped away from the post-dinner boozing to take in the curiously dong-like piece. Imagine a see-through floatation device maybe twice the size of the Baywatch variety and filled with water. It was that or a giant butt plug.
The bottle-blond Rich seemed mesmerized. He blurted out, seemingly to himself, Bitches, I dont get why the economys bad. Fix it! Hoping to make conversation, I asked about his own design strategy. I dont do cheese, shot back the man famous for sending socialites down the runway in getups that look like school uniforms from outer space.
Despite being only a week since the presidential election, it was nice to hear that McCain supporters hadnt lost any of their faith. One glittery octogenarian struck up a conversation about Obamas tax plans. I believe in charity, but I dont believe in sharing the wealth. What hes trying to do is completely unrealistic!
It was the wrong time to mention that I was not a paying guest at the dinner.
Later, identical twin singers Will and Anthony Nunziata got a round of Happy Birthday going for the old club, and an almond-apricotgood for keeping regular!cake was wheeled out for all to see. As the night went on, the crowd got friskier, dancing with sequin-wearing hired dancers and whooping along with the music.
At this point, I had lost track of Rich. But rest assured, the artsy dildo remained firmly in place.