Bash Compactor: Handle With Care

The next time you find yourself sipping free wine as you gaze at the latest works of New York’s art stars, take a second to appreciate the sweat and toil that went into the exhibit. No, not the artists’, but that of the tread-upon art handlers, forced to endure the sharp tongues of extremely particular curators and art directors as they hoist and install heavy, fragile and expensive works.

The first ever Art Handler’s Olympics took place on Sunday, a fine excuse for getting together some of the art world’s unsung heroes for an afternoon of drinking and fiercely contested—though lighthearted—competition. Tattoo sleeves, beards, long hair and matching T-shirts crowded into a dank, graffiti-covered basement at Ramiken Crucible on Grand Street. ---

The Iditarod-like competition featured 12 teams displaying their installing and shipping skills as they ran around the streets of Chinatown with cardboard boxes on top of dollies, hung up paintings as quickly as possibly and held up heavy work as long as they could. Judges like  Paper editor Carlo McCormick parodied European art curators, barking criticisms in German accents as they gave scores based on professionalism, style and amount of pain and suffering. “It’s a tight knit community, a lot of people know each other,” said David Thompson-Moss of the Asia Society Team. Was there any animosity towards their employers? “There’s no resentment, but it’s definitely an underground culture.”

“How many hernias in this room?” joked the MC and organizer Shane Caffrey, who peppered his running commentary with inside jokes about “indecisive, sadistic” curators and getting portfolios ready to be shipped to Switzerland. “You will be berated, heckled and told everything you are doing is wrong,” said Caffrey to the delight of those in the audience, who provided their own heckling at time as the participants struggled with the Sisyphean tasks that often make up their daily work schedule.

When the points were tallied, the Kings Of Cleats took the lovingly crafted gold medal home. The R Bad team didn’t seem too fazed. Clad in a uniform of matching purple T-shirts and accessorizing with empty cans of beers, they came down from Bard Academy where they install together at the Hessel Museum. Their reason for participating, according to one team member: “Eat, drink, throw-up and break some art.”