Bash Compactor: Mean Streets

My last name ends in a vowel, my uncle Zidzi was a bookie whose best friend Iggy’s head was cut off and left to rot in the gutter and one of my lifelong dreams was to be a hit man for the Mafia—don’t mess with me.

That’s why I went on the inaugural [New York City Mob Tour in Little Italy]. Why not explore our local tough guy landmarks? Writers Felicia Brings and Carla Stockton have concocted a two-hour excursion into the world, with the help of restaurateur and actor John “Cha Cha” Ciarcia. Do you like a touch of crime, violence and garlic to start your day? Then get down there and see for yourself where the bad guys ate, drank and got whacked.

“Five Points was here on Canal and Baxter and it was the world’s first interracial slum. But that’s because no one cared whether you were white, black, Chinese or Jewish since the neighborhood was full of murderers, thieves, prostitutes and street gangs,” we were told. Standing on the corner of Canal and Mulberry, a light drizzle spritzing us, we listened to the sonorous intonations of Gideon Levy, the well-informed guide who’s not only tall but a also a bit of a looker.

The tour, which runs twice a day each weekend, starts out on foot in Little Italy. Highlights included John Gotti’s old Ravenite Social Club at 247 Mulberry Street, the store where he bought his cigars and the John Jovino Gun Shop, a bona fide emporium of artillery. To my mind, the walking portion is the best part, but after 45 minutes on foot, we switched to the comfy seats of a bus, traveling uptown to see beloved battlegrounds like the Sparks Steakhouse on East 46th where Gambino capo Paul Castellano and his bodyguard were rubbed out, and the Starbucks in the Park Central which used to house the barbershop where Albert “The Executioner” Anastasia was shot. As for the guide, with a name like Levy, Gideon’s not Italian at all. He’s one of those Jewish dudes that want to be Italian, although he has equal nostalgia for the tough Jewish gangsters. “Meyer Lansky was misunderstood, in my opinion,” he said wistfully in the front of the bus as we watched footage from classic crime flicks on the screen. His tales about Lucky Luciano, Bugsy Siegel, Joey Gallo and other tragic figures struck a chord, bringing a little tear to my eye thinking about our favorite crime lords.