Bash Compactor: My Date Wore a Dress!

“Hey Visco, do you have a pink clutch bag I can borrow?” Don’t you love it when your date needs to borrow accessories? I have enough trouble keeping my wardrobe in shape, but who could say no to twinky Taylor Derwin? The boy was a vision in an adorable pink dress, waiting forlornly in the lobby of the fancy Times Square Marriott Marquis, a pink netting bow atop his crew cut hair, sequins plastered on his face.

It was the 24th Annual Night of 1,000 Gowns. I’d never been before, but being a glam diva myself, the idea of sitting in a room with so many gowns was intoxicating—that and the company of the perfumed, painted and bewigged drag queens and trannies wearing the dresses. Everyone was wearing crowns and tiaras, and the gowns had long elaborate trains on them. Were those diamonds rhinestones or real? Were the girls boys or vice versa? Lucky I had on my pearls and an iridescent, two-toned, rose-colored taffeta frock. There were plenty of hot dudes, too, some bare-chested, some wearing Village People macho men caps and military insignia. Michael Musto wore a pair of pajama-like green pants resplendent with tigers. Vanity Society, one of the organizers, was a foppish gent in a long pink curly wig. Everyone was regal: princes and princesses, emperors and empresses, dukes and dames. I won’t lie: I’m no aristocrat. I’m descended from a long line of Italian peasants who carried boulders on their heads. But this night was all about fun and lots of camp, so I didn’t feel bad I’m no blue blood.

Just before we left, I stopped in the gender-neutral restroom where another, smaller party was going on. Sexy blond singer Sherry Vine towered over the bathroom stall as she went in to use the facilities. Lanky Mitch Adair, special events director of Out in TV and Film was lounging on a chaise in a fancy tuxedo. All 6-foot-5-inches of performer and designer Machine Dazzle was spread out on the carpet in the powder room, while his friend Eileen was snapping photos with her vintage Leica.

I figured he’d like it if I put my spike-heeled maroon pumps on his face. Of course, I was right. The shoes went perfectly with his green lipstick.