Crime Blotter

WEENIE THUGS William Shephard, 63, was probably surprised when he got the call from the Long Island police station. It seems his friend Noreen Michelson, also 63, had been arrested for drunk driving while on her way home from a party at Shephard's house late Friday night.

The cops told her she needed someone to drive her home from the station, so she called Shephard. Being a good friend, Shephard got in his car and drove to the station to help her out.

He was probably even more surprised when he arrived at the police station to give Noreen a ride, only to be arrested for drunk driving himself. Guess he'd forgotten that the two of them had been at the same party.

On the evening of Saturday, July 3, two teenage brothers began scuffling with a group of six to eight older men in front of a Bronx bodega. The bodega owner—also the boys' father—broke up the fight and sent the older men packing.

Clearly peeved and humiliated at having been chased away by the kids' dad, two men (presumably from that first group) drove past the bodega two hours later, firing bullets randomly into the crowd gathered out front, wounding two men, one of them critically. Police are still hunting for the shooters.

Speaking of random bullets, a police officer chasing a young robbery suspect through Park Slope on Monday afternoon accidentally shot a kid in a wheelchair instead. The bullet probably ricocheted into the youngster, but still, that's gotta be bad for the karma. Fortunately, the kid, being paralyzed, didn't feel the bullet, and only realized he'd been shot after someone pointed out how much he was bleeding all of a sudden. He should be fine, though he may never walk again.

The 18-year-old suspect, by the way, who'd robbed a Payless Shoe Store with a toy gun, was arrested at the scene.

A 25-year-old soccer player from Brooklyn with the unlikely name of Nedgy Nazon was arrested together with a friend Tuesday night after they attacked a referee following a game in Canarsie. It seems the ref made a call Nedgy didn't much care for, so he and his friend went after the guy with a club and a screwdriver. Despite all that, the ref was not seriously hurt—revealing that Nedgy, along with being a big crybaby, is also a big weenie. He and his pal, Gahel Auguste, face multiple charges.

And when it comes to weenies, it seems 21-year-old Ronald Taverna knows his share of them, too. Taverna, a Staten Island resident, was sitting in Central Park with some friends Wednesday night when two dopey goth kids—acquaintances, apparently—approached and began ragging on him. Then one of the goth kids—they worship Satan, you know—grabbed a skateboard and began beating Taverna over the head with it. They then proceeded to kick and slug him before flitting away. Taverna—who has his own rap sheet—was taken to the hospital, where he was listed as critical but stable. o