Crime Prevention Panel Discusses Cyber Bullying

By [Rebecca Douglas] Teens and technology: The two seem inseparable. But the adolescent obsession with tweeting, texting, Facebooking and "friending" can also have devastating effects in the form of "Cyber-bullying." The suicide of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi is just one of many recent examples of this tragedy. To combat this phenomenon, the West Side Crime Prevention Program hosted a forum Dec. 8 at Trinity School, 101 W. 91st St., to alert the UWS community about the dangerous potential of this new form of bullying in the lives of teens. "Cyber-Bullying 2010: What Parents Need to Know" included Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance, Jr., as well as experts from Columbia University's Clinic for Anxiety and Related Disorders, the Cyber Crimes Unit of the DA's office, the School Safety Division of the New York Police Department and the Safe Schools Program of Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). "Cyber-bullying in the Upper West Side is increasing exponentially," said Lt. Kevin O'Connor of the NYPD. The officer said that he has found himself handling more and more cases with this technology-inspired tormenting in recent years. "Today the Internet is the crime scene of the 21st century," said Vance, Jr. "It's the anonymity that these communications provide," added David Szuchman, a representative from the DA's office. "They tweet something they would never say to someone's face. They're not just schoolyard bullies anymore." Columbia University Professor of Psychology Anne Marie Albano explained that these teens are at an age when their mind is not yet fully developed and that they have not yet learned to control their impulses or understand the reality of the long-term consequences of their actions. Because of this, young people are often likely to consider dramatic tactics such as suicide as a means to escape bullying. "The impulsive adolescent brain takes them to the darkest place," said Albano. "A noose that they hang in the closet." Because teens are glued to their phones and computers, the electronic grounds where these cyber crimes usually take place, the panel advocated that parents mandate that their kids take a daily time-out from technology. "I have six children, five daughters, three of them are teenagers," said Lt O'Connor. "At 10 o'clock [p.m.] their cell phones are off and [are put] in the cabinet in the kitchen." O'Connor also said that parents should make sure that kids don't spend too much time on their laptop in their rooms. He said that in his family, there is one computer in the kitchen. There, both parents can easily monitor their kids' cyber activity. The panelists also explained the importance of understanding how children use technology. Part of this responsibility might mean "friending" them on Facebook to see what their online activities look like, or it might include putting a GPS on the teen's cell phone so that they can make sure that they know where he or she is at all times. "You need to understand the systems these kids are using," said O'Connor. He suggested that parents ask their teens to help them set up a Facebook page so that they can navigate the social-networking system through the eyes of their child. He also recommended learning about lesser-known sites like Formspring-an online network where "friends" publicly post brutally honest comments about a single individual. But parents can't always stop the bullying before it begins, and so the panel also offered tips on how to sense whether or not your child is a target. Albano explained that a bullied child feels as if his or her universe is spinning out of control. They may become anxious or depressed. They may start acting in unfamiliar ways. Albano suggested that parents take notice if their child is especially jumpy or jittery, withdrawn or has difficulty sleeping. She also said that it is important to look for the signs of a bullying child. In this case, the teen becomes hyperactive and extremely social as they get caught up in the power that the harassment gives them. Szuchman said that the bully might ultimately end up as the victim. Their taunting may lead to a serious mark on their permanent record, or, at worst, cause a lifetime of guilt and feeling of responsibility for causing a fellow student's suicide.