Dante's Inferno; Woman Does the Voice of Dog that Sings Like Cat; Free Biennial

One inspiring event taking place this week is the ninth-annual reading of Dante's Inferno at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. The cathedral weathered its own inferno this past December, but that didn't keep Poet-in-Residence Molly Peacock from planning a three-hour reading like last year's.

On Thursday?Maundy Thursday, the traditional date of the Last Supper?Rev. Dr. James Kowalski will do the opening Canto of the Inferno at 9 p.m. Other scheduled readers include actress Patti LuPone, poet Honor Moore and Barbara Feldon, who played Agent 99 on Get Smart.

The Inferno reading will occur during the very hours that Dante intended the Inferno events to take place, from 9 to midnight. Admission is free and all are invited to the Cathedral of St. John the Divine (1047 Amsterdam Ave. at 112th St., 316-7540).

..."Solo rock a cappella artist" Ms. La Nive is like Tori Amos, but good. She sings weird, unaccompanied Gothic tunes about love, abuse and t-shirts; she's coming to CB's Lounge on Saturday and?surprise?she's a bit strange.

"'The T-shirt Song' personifies various kinds of t-shirts," Ms. La Nive explains. "There's the kind that can't get away and is like stuck in a ball, trapped in its own sweat and grossness; the kind that is behind glass, separated from the rest of the world, in its own little cocoon because it's elitist; the kind that nobody likes but one person, you know: the mother doesn't like it, the father doesn't like it, but the kid loves it; then there's the independent kind of t-shirt, my favorite kind."

Wow. My t-shirts are just stained or unstained. Ms. La Nive also peppers her songs with humorous skits and characters.

"I got a nodule on my cord two years ago," she says. "Singers who sing often get a bump on their vocal cords and it's really, really painful. So in order to reduce the pain of my nodule and to get rid of it, I had to put space between my songs. A 'normal' band would have space between the singing with some instrumentation, but since I'm an a cappella band, I don't have that luxury."

Thus, between songs Ms. La Nive presents ads for her "Tit E. Tohte," a shoulder bag she designed made of a bra bent in half and zippered together. She also does skits with "The Little Dog that Could," a stuffed dog that sings in a cat voice and performs "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. There's really nowhere else you can see this stuff; plus CB's Gallery is showing pencil drawings by Jason D'Aquino that depict, among other things, Santa and the Easter Bunny toasting the spirit of Jesus at a campfire.

It all adds up to a necessary night at CB's Lounge (313 Bowery at Bleecker St., 677-0455) this Saturday. Ms. La Nive's performance is part of the BoB Monthly Bass Ale, Saturn 5, Carroll Music Showcase sponsored by the Virgin Megastores with judges from New York Press. She takes the stage at 8 p.m. and the cover is $10.

...A few weeks ago, this column covered the Whitney Biennial, which is going on at the Whitney Museum through May. This Tuesday marks the start of an entirely different Free Biennial involving 200 artists and events all over New York in the month of April (a disproportionate number in Williamsburg). Maybe it's 9/11 pity/fallout, but in any case it's a nice surprise for art heads?the Free Biennial includes Deric Carner's Generic Fun Icon Distribution Performance (a wheel-less-barrow travels from the Martha Stewart Omnimedia headquarters to the Astor Pl. K-Mart, 4/6) and Simon Morris' Free Urban Library in Central Park, New York City (a book is put inside a plastic bag in a tree; you can take it out and put in your own book at will).

The Free Biennial starts with a party, naturally, on the somewhat restored boat the Frying Pan (Pier 63, W. 23rd St. at the West Side Hwy., 989-6363). That's this Tuesday; you can drink with artist types, dance to DJ Rekha's Indian-influenced bhangra music and save yourself some cash?it's free. Get there at 8 p.m.