Dear Tina Brown

Dear Tina Brown, It is now almost two years since I received a phone call from your assistant saying that "We need your address: Tina Brown wants to invite you to something." I have to tell you that I have been on tenterhooks ever since, waiting to see to what, exactly, I might be invited. The lead time seems extraordinary for any run-of-the-mill social function and I cannot think what the saturnalia you have in mind might be. It has passed through my mind that perhaps the occasion–unless it has passed–perhaps it was the one at the Statue of Liberty a few years ago–requires recondite apparel or the acquisition of a new language. If so, I wish you would update me on these matters, before, if, in fact, the party comes off, I am wrestled to the ground in the mystery-location for not speaking adequate Tagalog or deaf-signs,