BUCKLE UP FOR another wacky roadtrip moviethis time with random acts of gay-bashing and Amish folk! From the beginning, Sex Drives acknowledges its own dirty mind. After a particularly potent wet dream, virgin doofus Ian (Josh Zuckerman) tosses his soaked briefs on his bedroom floor. But then his family barges in with an announcement that ends with his stepmother slipping on the soiled undies.
But this jizz-related accident isnt entirely Ians fault! He fell asleep after yet another hot and heavy online flirtation with Ms.Tasty, tossing in little white lies like owning a car that actually belongs to his lughead brother Rex. Then Ms.Tasty informs him over IM that if he drives from Chicago to meet her in Knoxville, shell go all the way with him. Naturally, this is too much for a teenager to pass up. Egged on by his horndog best friend Lance (Clark Duke) and alterna gal pal Felicia (Amanda Crew) in tow, Ian sets out on a 500-mile journey that he assumes will lead to the loss of his virginity, but of course leads to him learning Life Lessons and a not-verysurprising climax of the non-sexual variety.
Maybe Sex Drive wouldnt be such a slobbering excuse for a comedy if anyone involved had shown one iota of originality. Unfortunately, most of the plot seems to have been ransacked from better teen entertainmentsave Seth Greens turn as a surly
Amish man. Ians theft of Rexs car is straight out of Ferris Buellers Day Off, while Lancewrapped in ascots and employing the time-tested method of being an asshole to bed girlsseems like a pale imitation of Gossip Girls resident bad boy, Chuck Bass. And then theres Ians brother Rex (a wasted James Marsden). Fond of asking if his brothers a pole-smoker, Rex is needlessly and relentlessly homophobic. After almost two hours of his gay bashing, were finally told that its OK that he talks trash about being gay because he, in fact (wait for it), is gay.This sudden revelation is supposedly enough to give him a pass on all his gay slurs. Frankly, its too little, too late. Of course, if Rex had even a remotely funny line about Ians sexuality, the point would have been moot. But Sex Drive is the kind of movie that milks non-existent laughs out of a license plate that reads NoFatChx.
For anyone who likes their humor on the sophomoric side, Sex Drive will no doubt scratch that itch. But for anyone who enjoys jokes that werent actually cracked during their high school days, try something else. Anything else.
> Sex Drive
Directed by Sean Anders Running Time: 109 min.