Dunleavy Comes Clean

AS LONG AS anyone can remember, Steve Dunleavy has been defending cops, firemen and mobsters. Especially mobsters. Whenever a new mob trial was underway, he'd come out with one of his patented "these fabulous young men are being framed!" columns. That he was shamelessly sucking up to the mob seemed clear to everyone except Dunleavy. Until last Wednesday, that is.

In a column entitled "Out of Control Feds Cutting Into My Racket," he admits the slew of recent mob busts is leaving him with less to write about. The convictions of the Gottis have all but pounded those last nails into the coffin of the New York mob. And Dunleavy's a little scared.

"I'm considering suing the Justice Department," he wrote, "[While] they end the careers of the geriatric goombahs, the feds are threatening my career."

Well, Mr. Dunleavy, don't you worry—even if the mob were to die off completely, there'll be plenty of crooked cops and drunken firefighters for you to loudly defend for years to come.