ED-Gilderman 28 NAME: HOPPER BARTENDS AT: TAILOR'S HALL, 45-15 QUEENS BLVD., SUNNYSIDE, ...

NAME: HOPPER

BARTENDS AT: TAILOR'S HALL, 45-15 QUEENS BLVD., SUNNYSIDE, QUEENS

FAVORITE MOVIE: GREASE

FAVORITE BAND: U2

ACCENT: SO IRISH HE MAKES DANIEL DAY-LEWIS SOUND LIKE TOM BROKAW.

SO YOU GO by one name. Yes. Hopper.

That's it? Everyone in the world calls me Hopper. Even my wife. Even my mother-in-law.

I will call you Hopper. Good.

How did you get the name? I was very hyper when I was growing up. I used to hop around all the time. All me mother's sisters. They decided to call me Hopper.

Where in Ireland was this? Dublin. The north side. The soulful side.

Do you think there are any misconceptions Americans have of Dublin? The troubles. The poverty. Stuff like that. But I think Irish people are universally loved. You can see that in America. It's amazing.

What brought you here? I came here in 1988 on a soccer scholarship. I went to Loyola College in Baltimore. When I came here it was because of a fantasy of the life, the women, just the whole America that was portrayed on tv. That and the stories from the people who'd already went. It was too good to pass up. And I've loved it.

Has the reality of America been disappointing to some of the other folks from Ireland? Most people that come here from Ireland have an absolute ball. Now, as you know, Irish people like to drink.

I've heard this. The young Irish love to drink. We're called paddies here. And young paddies love to have a good time.

I don't think I'll use that term. Say it if you want! Now there's always a small percentage of people who miss their families and can't get over that. But for the most part, people who come over here have an absolute wonderful time. Even though it's not as good as it was in the 90s.

What's gone downhill? It used to be paddies could come over here and work without any bother. The opportunity [to come here and work] isn't what it used to be. Now it's harder. Immigration is looking over your shoulder. Everything has to be by the book and legal.

Did you read Angela's Ashes? I saw the movie. The Ireland I knew was better than that. But if you're talking about my father, my father knew poverty. There were so many kids. There was no contraception. Go back just 20 years and you couldn't even buy a condom!

What did you do if you had a girl and you wanted to… They'd make you wait! It isn't like over here. That's one of the things I love about it over here.

The girls. The girls.

Yes. They love the Irish accent.

[We laugh, though he more heartily than I.]

But back in Ireland, what does a guy do if he's young and going girl-crazy? You go rub your father's johnnies, I don't know. It's rough.

What's a johnny? His condoms.

Oh! I thought you said "rub his johnnies." [Hopper just stares.] Um, anyway, our degenerate readers might want to know what the waiting period is with an Irish girl. At least three months. Maybe a year.

A year! Oh, but they'll kiss you, they're beautiful and they're full of personality.

And American girls? I love American girls. I think Irish women are a bit tougher. American women are more open. I think that's a great quality. They'll tell you what they're feeling. They embrace you 100 percent.

Amen. Now, the Catholic Church. From day one there's been serious problems.

Is it the same in Ireland? Or are American priests just insane? I think it's the same everywhere in the world. Growing up in Ireland was a nightmare for certain people, the ones who were educated by Christian brothers. I wasn't, but you'd hear all the nightmare stories about it.

On another note, you told me your favorite movie is Grease. Every time it's on I can't fucking turn it off! Sometimes I think to myself I'm gonna play the whole album here in the bar so I can just…dance.

You don't seem like the type of guy to like Grease. Hey, I love the music. I love all music.

Any final message to the folks back in Ireland thinking of coming over? Come to America, man! You'll never have any fun like it. o