Epicerie; Mary's Off Jane

| 11 Nov 2014 | 11:27

    It's a treat to walk around after a day spent indoors avoiding the heatwave. Orchard St. has so many little places and consequential activity, it's giving me sensory overload. At the delightfully fake-fronted Cafe Charbon and Epicerie, a sign warns "Proper Conduct Expected." We pass through the dark many-candled cafe crowded with more twentysomething diners than drinkers. There're a few taps, but it seems martinis are the quaff of choice, and salads the supper. The inner mock-grocery dining room hosts those in their 30s and 40s. Blue blinds shade big windows that look out on an always shifting corner street scene. When my grandfather lived down here, the kids would see shootouts, but they weren't scared; the gangsters only shot at each other, apparently having better aim than their modern-day counterparts. At five, my grandfather and his little sister Sadie had their own racket. They'd pick up the "expensive gum" wrappers from the floors of the subways, fill the wrappers with cheap gum and sell at a premium to unsuspecting consumers.

    On a steamy summer night, Epicerie could be kept cooler. A couple of flies find their way in through the dining room's open door. Jazzy lounge music plays louder in the cafe/bar. The restaurant's newness generates a good deal of interest; those outside peruse the posted menu and stare through the glass at our plates. Each beige-streaked Formica table is set with blue-stripe tea towels for napkins and blue canisters of French sea salt along with a lit votive. Sweet tan wood cafe chairs are comfy and set over color-coordinated tiled floors. Lining the walls are shelves stocked with staples like syrups and teas and jams. An orange glow is thrown over the room, emanating from the backlit shelving. However, after dark, our corner could benefit from sconces.

    Imported water is offered. We choose tap, which is brought in a chilled bottle. From a list that includes many French options, we select a glass of French merlot ($6) that is soft and warming. Light and lively Sancerre ($8) comes with a wee bit of cork in the glass. A metal basket of French bread and sweet butter is brought. After looking at the chalkboard menu, "I'm thinking the sardine tart." "I knew you'd order that." I'm hungry and this tarte de tomade and sardines ($7) very satisfyingly assaults parched tastebuds. The webby fresh puff pastry shell holds tomatoes in an intense concentrated dark red sauce. The three fishies on top are tasty and brisk but their bones irritate. Smoked trout with potatoes ($7.25) is an appetizer salad of greens and tender pinky-white torpedoes of supple smoked fish with disks of well-cooked, yet full-of-flavor potato. Mussels "Charbon" are offered in appetizer or entree sizes.

    The very filling mixed grill ($16.50) is a wooden board covered with meats: thick slices of medium-rare steak, a moist lamb chop, spicy sausages and a smoky jumbo shrimp. Greens in the center, and a hill of strongly spiced yellow fine-grain couscous holds slivers of roasted nuts and puffy sultanas. On top, roasted buttery salted corn on the cob. Feels like a feast. A filet of cooked as requested, tender and flavorful salmon ($13.50) comes over a carpet of finely pureed potatoes, encircled by a mayonnaise-based coral-colored sauce, not far off from Russian dressing. At the high end of the menu, a steak frites bearnaise ($16.50). Another option, the tuna with potato gaufrettes?those waffle fries that always seem to be good.

    My companion suggests splitting just one dessert, but I want to do that as much as a big dog wants to play a trombone. My flan ($6) is all that a creme caramel should be; high, cool and eggy in a lake of thin wet burnt-sugar syrup. Banana coconut tart ($6) is topped with caramelized slices of unmushy banana over soft white cake enflaked with shreds of coconut and spread with custard. It sits in a pool of chocolate syrup and seems to be inhaled. We like the very dark, thick and syrupy coffee ($2) served in retro brown crockery.

    The check says "Merci a bientot" and comes with a slip of paper that reads, "Give Us Your Opinion?" on "Food," "Service" and "Ambiance." I'd circle "Good" across the board. It's still warm, so the thought of the subway is unpleasant. We walk, loosely heading for a bus stop. I press my nose up against the shuttered Russ & Daughters storefront, "Look at all the caviar." "Food critic arrested in LES break-in." "You think black eggs running down my chin would be a giveaway?" I remember my first time there, the senior citizen counterman remarking to my dad, "She's special."

    Turning into the St. Marks throngs, we pass two; one a true friend offering excellent advice: 1. "I think you should only call him sober." 2. "We should go to Newport this weekend." 3. "You've got to get the fuck out of Connecticut."