Happy Hour at the Bar With George

Feeling repentant about how my perpetually broke self (along with my perpetually broke boyfriend) manages to spend such a pretty penny going out, I recently set out on a quest for the barfly’s Holy Grail: The $1 beer. I’m happy to report that I found New York offers a surprising number of options to quench your boozy thirst on the cheap. Here’s a selection of spots for each day of the week.

Monday

Stumble Inn

1454 2nd Ave. (at E. 76th St.), 212-650-0561.

One-dollar domestic drafts all night long will assuage any initial anxiety you may have of being so far north of 14th street. Plus, the people-watching is fantastic. I’ve seen cougars take sweet college boys for as many dollar drafts as it’d cost to do a month’s worth of laundry, and lingered until last call chatting with a kindly old lady who knows a good deal when she sees one.

Tuesday

Third & Long

523 3rd Ave. (at E. 35th St.), 212-447-5711.

By definition, there should be no preconditions for drinking $1 beers; it’s one of those you-get-what-you-pay-for deals. However, you’ll appreciate Dollar Draft Madness that much more if you find sports—and the young Murray hill denizens that flock here to watch them—at least somewhat tolerable, because that’s this bar’s modus operandi. Coordinate your calendar with your team’s schedule and those $1 Bud and Bud Light mugs, served from 4 until close, will do you good.

Wednesday

Wicked Willy’s

149 Bleecker St. (betw. LaGuardia Pl. & Thompson St.), 212-254-8592.

This NYU bar is one of those joints that’s so cheesy it’s broken through to being awesome. The place is laden with pirate décor; the backlit beer-pong tables are permanent fixtures; and the crowd is a casual mix of undergrads and grad students. (And aren’t stern students going to school to study the value of the dollar?) Miller Lights are a buck from 4 to 7, Tuesday through Thursday.

Thursday

Bourbon Street

407 Amsterdam Ave. (betw. W. 79th & W. 80th Sts.), 212-721-1322.

So long as you go into this New Orleans-themed lush fest expecting hopeless bores or overgrown frat dudes (or some harmonious blend of the two), you’ll be just fine. Thursday is “Beat the Clock” night, which means that the price of Bud and Bud Light drafts fluctuates throughout the night, starting at 50 cents at 9 and getting as high as $2. The same price structure is also in effect on Wednesday.

Friday

Duff’s 168

Marcy Ave. (betw. Broadway & S. 5th St.), Brooklyn, 718-599-2092.

The trick to drinking at this legendary Williamsburg metal bar (and total dive) is that you’ve got to own it. So what if you’re surrounded by a bunch of hardcore, tatted-up dudes with teased hair that they’ve meticulously maintained since the ’80s? Just keep your cool and tip well. Even if PBR is only a buck during happy hour (6 to 9 daily), never slight your bartender.

Saturday & Sunday

Keg & Lantern

98 Nassau Ave. (betw. Manhattan Ave. & Leonard St.), Brooklyn, 718-389-5050.

When a friend first informed me in a hushed, confidential tone that she knows a bar that has $1 beers all day, every day, seven days a week, I damn near fell off my barstool. In fact, it’s true. This Greenpoint gem offers a short list of beers—Tecate and PBR among them—for just a buck. Get your daytime, postbrunch drink here on Saturday before stumbling into McCarren Park for a nap. Sunday, repeat.

And, because it’s always happy hour somewhere

Siane

102 MacDougal St. (at Bleecker St.), 212-505-0079.

We don’t know how (or, better question, why) this happens, but on weekdays, this low-key Village pub offers $1 well drinks from noon to 2 followed by $1 Yuengling drafts until 4, no strings attached. The daytime bartender is an expert at convincing you to have just one more. After all, “It’s just a dollar,” she’ll say. Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.