I have an issue with my long-time boyfriend I have an ...

I have an issue with my long-time boyfriend. We have good times in bed?he is quite the oral pro and has a nice seven-inch tool. He pleases me most of the time, but at the same time, I could always go for more.

My dilemma is that he comes and goes and then shortly afterward, he goes to the bathroom or shower to jerk off. I don't understand this.

I asked him about it, and he said he is still horny, but he doesn't have the energy to do me again. Is this normal in guys? Sometimes I think there is something more. I have also caught him in his hand-pumping exercises when he thought I was away, and I occasionally catch him glaring at porn mags (which really pisses me off).

I get upset about this, but I don't know if it's a mountain or a molehill.

?Feeling Like Dirt

This would be a molehill. First off, almost every man on the planet looks at porn. This does not mean he wishes you were the girl in the magazines, nor does it constitute cheating. You've got to get over that pronto. Sure, if you keep haranguing him, maybe he'll "stop," but all that really means is that he'll just start hiding the Hustlers in a new spot.

I get the impression that it's not just the porno or the post-fuck wankfests that are on your tits though. You say you've "caught" him while he thought you were away. So what? Jerking off is normal. Would you rather "catch" him nailing someone else?

However, sneaking off to beat off after he's fucked you seems a little odd, so I consulted my carefully selected he-man focus group. They also found it weird. "The guy still needs to wank after coming?" my friend Ivan asked. "Christ, usually I just light up a smoke."

Andrew concurred: "Having the ability to go more than once is a skill that women prize so much, he'd be a fool not to impress her with it."

Okay, so the not-remotely-scientific survey concludes that yes, your boyfriend is doing something unusual. That doesn't mean it's nefarious or that you should feel like crap about yourself because of it. Have you tried suggesting that if he's too tired to do you again, that he just jerk off in front of you while you take care of yourself again? Would that bother you?

Ivan thought it might. "Sometimes a guy wants to dig out the preferred porn and fantasize about Miss April," he explained. "In these cases, wanking is like writing in your diary; you'd rather not do it when someone's looking over your shoulder." Fair enough, but you might want to suggest it.

I think the real problem is your attitude toward masturbation. Instead of looking at his right hand as a competitor, you should try and make it your ally. Maybe if you quit yelling at him for playing pocket pool, he'll give you another turn with his stick.

I am a senior GS enthusiast. When you see my age written down, it may look scary but, in reality, I'm much younger-looking. My image, plus the fact that I was never married?no kids either?creates a problem. I am a visual artist: I admire shapely bodies, big pussy lips and peep-show girls who can flex their pussy muscles. I am educated; I like fine arts, photography, galleries and romantic moments. My dream lady would wear mini-skirts without panties, and let me watch when she pees. For me, the most exciting view is in a 69 position where everything is wide open to watch the yellow streak splashing on my chest. But there is no lady who would enjoy all of what I would like to see. Any ideas where to find her?

?GS Will

Color me thick, but it took me a few minutes to figure out what GS was short for. Maybe it was the collection of non sequiturs that confused me, but I was all set to holler at Old Man Will for being a perverted old Girl Scout enthusiast until, der, I realized he's just saying he's a run-of-the-mill (albeit elderly) pee freak. And that's okay.

What's not okay is being a clueless pervert. You say you're an educated guy who enjoys romantic moments (and who doesn't?), so how can it be that you've reached this advanced age without figuring out how to meet a girl who'll take a wiz on you? By this point in your life you should have?if not a source for these dames?a rap down that'll convince a reluctant girl into giving you what you want. Surely you know that there are legions of fans of any demented scenario you could possibly concoct?and yours is fairly benign, so what's the problem? The Girl of Date doesn't frown on much, but being a sexual deviant demands a certain amount of initiative and ingenuity that you don't seem to possess. I'm sorry, but you're on your own here, bub.