In Defense of Ruth

i feel sorry for ruth madoff. there, i've said it.

her husband bernie is a bad guy. if you hate him, join the club. if you think he deserved every day of his 150-year sentence, who's arguing? if you're glad he's going to die in jail, here here.

but ruth is not bernie. yet she is being punished for his crimes. the way people are riding the bullet train of rude by stalking, shouting, sniping and snubbing this women is like watching the geriatric version of mean girls with ruth in the lindsay lohan role.

the fbi-not the keystone cops-is on top of this case. i have every confidence that if they ever find evidence that ruth was the bonnie to bernie's clyde, it will take less than a new york minute before she's fitted for an orange jumpsuit courtesy of the doc. until then?

ruth too is a victim of ponzi-master madoff, the equal-opportunity thief. he screwed over strangers, friends, friends of friends and his own family-of which his wife is one. she lost it all, and i don't just mean the apartment, mink coat and the rest of her material goods.

ruth madoff lost her marriage (considering she was married to scum, that may not be such a bad thing), except that she's old. unless ruth divorces bernie and finds a new man (j-date?), she'll live out the rest of her life alone, which must be scary. perhaps if she were young, beautiful and doe-eyed like anne hathaway-who no one has any trouble believing had no knowledge of her ex-fiancé's scurrilous behavior-ruth could wash that con man out of her hair. then again, there are even young women who find themselves alone because they are divorced, widowed or, like ruth, have a husband who's incarcerated. the fear and anxiety of starting over on your own can be debilitating for a woman in her prime; imagine what it must be for a senior citizen? and i'm going to take an educated guess that there's something else she's lost over this: her mind, not to mention trust-especially in her own judgment. she thought she married her high school sweetheart turned high-powered executive and humanitarian, when she was actually married to a criminal.

now, did she benefit from his ill-gotten gains? yes. but so did his sons and how about all those charities to which he donated? remember, bernie the cheat was also a philanthropist. can't you hear her? "my bernie is so successful. and he helps people." i don't believe she knew about the illegitimate side of his business. in fact, like a lot of wives, i think all she knew about his job is that he brought home the bacon.

why would ruth have wanted to hear about "the business" anyway, when she could hear bernie tell her about the new yacht or european vacay or piece of jewelry he just bought her?

yes, ruthie lived large for a long time. but she's been downsized with no husband and no relationship with her children. the fbi has allowed her to keep $2.5 million, which they have determined did not come from bernie's swindled stash. that's got to last for the next 30 years, if she lives that long. a lot of it will probably go toward airfare to north carolina to visit her husband behind bars. how long before that takes it's toll? just the stress of this whole thing may kill her.

bernie is the criminal. so far, not ruth. leave her alone. and let her get her haircut. -- lorraine duffy merkl's debut novel, fat chick, will be published in september by the vineyard press.