It's All About Natalie Portman's Butt

| 21 Nov 2014 | 09:55

    Quite a bit of controversy was recently drummed up by the release of Wes Andersons Darjeeling Limited prequel, “Hotel Chevalier,” mostly due to the fact that Hollywood’s quintessential good girl and apple of America’s eye, Natalie Portman, shows her butt onscreen.  I should mention that I’ve been unable to watch the short since I didn't get online fast enough before it was pulled from iTunes and Google with speculation that they want to screen it in theaters in order to make it eligible for a [Best Short Film Oscar]. 

    Perhaps part of the reason it was pulled was the hoopla that was spurred by the free release of Portman’s first nude scene, one which closet pedophiles everywhere have been waiting for since the 1996 release of Beautiful Girls.  Really, there must be something more fascinating about a 13-minute short made by one of the most accomplished modern American auteurs than the exposure of Natalie Portman’s bony ass. 

    The actress [gave a statement to WENN] claiming that she regretted the choice to bare all, and that given the opportunity she wouldn’t choose it again.  Although she later claimed that the following statement was actually related to a film that no one's actually seen, [Goya’s Ghosts](http://imdb.com/title/tt0455957/), I don’t really believe her: "I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."  Chill, Natalie.  You don’t need to go on rampant PSA-mode every time you talk tot the press.  Your image as do-gooder role model to young girls everywhere won’t be too tarnished my this recent “misstep.” 

    [Allheadlinenews.com follows Portman’s statement] with this piece of unrelated news: “Portman has recently been campaign [sic] for awareness on third world hunger in Africa.” OK, we get it.  Natalie Portman is an emblem of all things good and pure.  She saves her starving African brethren, please forget that you can see the side of her butt in this new film.   And what does it say about our culture that as soon as a woman appears nude in a film her credibility as a philanthropist is shot?  How can we see Natalie nude?  She went to Harvard!  I don’t know which reaction annoys me more: Portman’s own thundering after her problematic good girl image or the media’s interest in preserving it.  Natalie Portman is an actress, she should not have to be a spokesperson for piety or a willing party of our society’s collective virgin/whore complex.  Everyone relax.

    Photo [courtesy of here.]