It's Easy Being Green
LAST THURSDAY, City Council Speaker Gifford Miller and Councilman James F. Gennaro introduced a "Green Buildings" bill that would require future building projects to employ eco-friendly designs. It also calls for green renovations of public buildings, including the installation of energy-saving technologies.
For this Miller and Gennaro should be applauded, but why stop there? There are plenty of simple, long-overdue ideas that would help make New York the leafy, clean 21st-century Xanadu that we'd all like to think it could be.
Harness the power of image insecurities. A study should be commissioned immediately to determine how many megawatts are created by the thousands of state-of-the-art treadmills, elliptical trainers and stairmasters used throughout the city. The armies of office workers grunting between five and 10 every weeknight could at the very least provide clean, near-source energy to adjacent buildings.
No-kill hot dogs. On opening night this year, San Diego's Petco Stadium sold out of not beer, not pretzelsbut tasty and environmentally sound veggie hot dogs and burgers. Why not give the city's hundreds of hot dog vendors a juicy tax break if they offer soy dogs instead of meat-based wieners? They taste the same, if not better, and we all know what hot dogs are made of. Within a week, nobody will remember the difference, and just imagine the weight loss among police officers!
Ban cars. Just ban them. Introduce a huge public bicycle program as in Copenhagen, build a shiny hanging monorail network and auction off a few thousand rickshaw medallions. Turn New Jersey and southern Connecticut into giant parking lotswhich few would deny are their destinies anyway.
Big Wheels. After cars are banned, some citizens will still want to feel the power of sitting behind the wheel or riding in a stretch Hummer. No problem. Large toymakers will smell opportunity and come to the rescue by marketing life-size, pedal-operated Big Wheels. Hit-and-runs will no longer be fatal; drive-bys will be a thing of the past.
Third-grade Battle Royale. Taking a cue from the popular Japanese movie, institute a deathmatch between those third-grade students who failed last week's reading and math exams. The winner will advance to the fourth grade while the, uh, losers will no longer drain our precious resources.
Biodegradable packaging. How to cut down on litter and overflowing trash bins? Instead of tin, plastic, paper and Styrofoam, make take-out containers out of more natural materials, such as packed mud or discarded, day-old arugula from fancy restaurants.
Clear retractable dome. No green city of the future would be complete without one of those giant, clear plastic domes to keep the UVs out. Manhattan would even sparkle from outer space, much like Fresh Kills.
What are we waiting for?