Karl Rove Loves Jeff Gannon

Although The Daily Show is my favorite daily show, I'm disappointed in Jon Stewart as an interviewer. When former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger was a guest, Stewart obsequiously lobbed softballs at him. More recently, when former press secretary Ari Fleischer was a guest, Stewart didn't ask him anything about Jeff Gannon, the $200-an-hour gay prostitute cum Bush-administration propagandist in the guise of a journalist, sitting in the fourth row at White House press conferences and asking ass-kissing questions.

When that same subject came on HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher speculated that Gannon must have been getting it on with somebody in the White House. Robin Williams later filled in the blanks with an implication that this somebody in the White House was actually Karl Rove.

Stand-up comic Barry Crimmins envisions Gannon at a presidential press conference, wearing pink panties with a dog collar on his neck, asking, "Who do you have to blow to get a seat in the front row?"

Crimmins, a political satirist and activist, has gone from writing for Dennis Miller to writing for Air America Radio. About Miller, Crimmins now says, "Listening to his act is no longer something we look forward to; it is more like getting stuck in the back seat of your pop's station wagon while he lectures you on 'Americanism' through 30 miles of heavy traffic."

As a performer, Crimmins was heavily influenced by Lenny Bruce.

"Speech became a lot freer, thanks to Lenny," he told me. "I have never had to worry about a cabaret card or local police officials monitoring my shows. The only true censorship I've faced has been commercial in nature. But what the hell? Why should I expect them to allow me to stand on their soapbox to announce that their suds are polluting the river?"

In 1988, Crimmins was at CNN's New York studio to contribute commentary on the presidential campaign. He was chatting with CNN anchor Norma Quarles in the Green Room.

"Suddenly she looked right past me and began sucking up to someone at a clip that was fantastic even for a corporate news anchor." It was Henry Kissinger. Crimmins refused to shake hands with him. Later, Quarles asked him why. "Because," he replied, "I have a strict policy of never shaking hands with war criminals."

The title of Crimmins' new book is Never Shake Hands with a War Criminal. Unless, of course, you're Jon Stewart.