Kevin, 34, works at a video store in Park Slope Kevin, ...

What was it like growing up in Troy?

Lonely, boring. Sort of rural. I'm sure it's suburban now, but it wasn't really suburban then.

How big is your family?

I have one sister, 32, who still lives in a very, very rural setting, somewhat nearby where we lived. She has a couple kids and a husband and works part-time as a nurse and seems to be pretty happy. I don't speak with her as often as I should.

Who was more sexually advanced at the age of 13?

I would say? God, I wouldn't know.

When you were 13-tell me about yourself.

I didn't have a girlfriend until 15. When I was 13, I worked outside a lot, I think I did sports and school activities with a few friends I had, sci-fi geek like I am to this today? And started collecting records, that's pretty much what I did.

D&D?

Yeah, but only to fit in. It's not something I, uh, still follow.

I hope you wouldn't still follow.

Well, it's a good learning experience. I hope kids still do it today, I wouldn't know.

So then you were 15 and your sister was 13. Was she a nerd too?

No, she was a sports kid, so she was very popular.

When you were 17, she was 15.

I was already out of the house by then. At the end of high school. I was asked politely to leave by my parents at 16 years old.

Why's that?

No drugs, no problems with the police, but [I] offended my strict Catholic upbringing.

So you're raised strict Catholic, you weren't doing drugs, you weren't caught by the police. What offended them?

My very anti-authoritarian attitude. My odd modes of dress. I was quite a New Waver back them.

This was?1986?

Yeah.

What did you do?

I went and lived with friends until I graduated from high school, and then after that moved to Utica where I attended Mohawk Valley Community College in the fall of '86. I stayed there for one year, then lived in Utica for another year and worked, then went out to SUNY Purchase.

And you finished SUNY Purchase?

No, I got a job doing something in New York, and squatting.

Did you ever get a girl pregnant?

Nope.

Any scares?

Yeah, I think there was a scare at one point.

How old were you?

Mohawk Valley, there must've been a scare?18.

What would you have done?

I don't know. I'm sure I would've tried to do the right thing, whatever the right thing would've been at 18 years [with] no prospects to speak of.

Who was your first girlfriend?

A woman named Sarah in Troy. I was 16 at the time.

Did you have sex with her?

No.

Who was your second girlfriend?

College? That would've been Heidi.

Was she the one?

Yeah. That was the first one. It was actually super-romantic. We were both these gosh-aw-shucks kids, despite being goth/punk rockers.

How old were you?

Seventeen. No, it must've been 18. Must've been after that fall. She would've been 17.

Was she in college?

Yeah, she was attending Mohawk Valley. She got in early for being a very smart young woman. Or so we thought at the time. I'm sure she still is.

How long did you date-in total?

I couldn't really tell you.

Weeks, months or years?

Months, almost a year.

How long before you had sex?

It was a couple months, I'd think. It was her first time as well. So it was something that was well thought-out? We picked the night. I was living in a weird little apartment set-up with a roommate, and I conspired to get the roommate out of the way and our mutual friends off of our backs for an entire evening. Cheap bubble bath and Kate Bush records. It's completely silly? But for a first time, you really should try to make it special, especially if you're old enough to think about it beforehand, not just 15 and tearing each other's jeans off. It's a terrific memory.

Details?

It started out as only having a bath, and then we decided we would try to do it in the bath, which becomes very, very uncomfortable. Even in one of those really old, nice bathtubs, it can become terrifically uncomfortable. So, we had a good go there and then moved onto the kitchen floor, then the bed.

Did you actually penetrate in the tub?

Yeah.

Did it hurt for her?

She said later it did initially.

So you moved from there to the kitchen floor?

It was on the way.

Were you nervous?

Initially, yes. Not to sound too cliche?but it was someone I was in love with at the time, so that helped a lot.

Did you come in her?

No.

Pulled out? How'd you know to do that?

Instinct. Male instinct.

Do you count yourself lucky?

Absolutely, without hesitation, I count myself lucky.

How'd you break up?

I became interested in someone else, and she? I don't even remember what it was.

Did you break her heart?

I don't know, but I'd say probably.

What do you think she thinks when she looks back on her first time? If she was sitting here, and I said, "Heidi, tell me about your first time."

I can't imagine? I haven't really spoken to any of those people since then.

You've never spoken to her?

Haven't spoken to her since?the tail end of the 1980s. I think I called her once in 1989? [I heard] she met someone else afterwards and got married immediately after? She has a family and stuff, that's what she's always wanted. So I'm happy for her.