Kill, Kashton, Kill, Kill

| 13 Aug 2014 | 05:20

    Killers

    Directed by Robert Luketic

    Runtime: 100 min.

    If Screwball Comedy saw courtship in terms of balanced, Shakespearean love, what can we call comedies that mix love with killing? The new Katherine Heigl-Ashton Kutcher romcom is titled Killers to confuse its kooky-cute married couple (a dimply, baby-faced spy and his civilian wife) with their gun-toting suburban neighbors. The point seems to ingest the post-9/11 guilt that Americans are treacherous. Ain’t it funny that was also the foundation of the loathsome Brangelina flick Mr. & Mrs Smith?

    Because Katherine and Ashton—let's call them Kashton—are a low-rent Brangelina, Killers’ insult is somehow less offensive. American self-loathing is a Hollywood staple and Kashton have such low-wattage sex appeal they don’t ask much of us except that we smile at their attempts to be charming. Brangelina were sex-god/role models, so their adherence to Michael Moore-self-hatred upset the cultural balance. Killers is just a B-movie. Correction: D-movie, as in dumb. Heigel is sexy when she submits and Kutcher is hottest when he’s boy-next-door-but-ruthless (for both of them, the less dialogue the better).

    Kashton domesticate Brangelina’s nihilism. Heigl’s sunny-blond ditziness plays off Kutcher’s callow machismo as if remaking a Doris Day comedy—not without innocence but with less charm. The film’s awareness of subterfuge and assassination as contemporary habit represents a change in how people perceive loving, citizenship and morality. When there’s nothing to laugh at in our political and love lives, accepting our degradation becomes a way of defending our selves. Ask George Clooney.

    None of this is to inflate Killers into significance but simply to note the tangled mess of our post-9/11 lives. I’m not mad at director Luketic’s slick careerism or Kashton’s demeaning calculation. It’s bemusing that they all think cold-blooded comedy is equal to the elegance and charm of Screwball. As Oliver Stone warned/prophesied in JFK: We’re through the looking glass now.