NEW YEAR’S EVE Compiled by Dan Migdal ...

Live Music

BACKSTAGE PASS PARTY feat. the head-banging sounds of Ümlaüt as Funkcamp Productions goes heavy metal-plus champagne; the Hook, 18 Commerce St. (betw. Richards & Columbia Sts.), Red Hook, 718-797-3007; $25.

BALKAN BASH feat. the Zagnut Circus Orkestar, NY's top Balkan dance band, playing Rom music from Serbia, Macedonia, Bulgaria & Romania; Barbes, 376 9th St. (6th Ave.), Park Slope, 718-965-9177; 10, $5.

BRANDENBURG CONCERTI Anthony Newman conducts; St. Bart's Church, 109 E. 50th St. (Park Ave.), 212-378-0200; 7:30, $45.

C-NOTE pres. Phoebe LeGere, Bruce Wands & Marfa Mystery Lights; 157 10th St. (Ave. C), 212-677-8142; 9, $5-$12.

FORT ANCIENT Something a bit experimental-also performing, Trophy Scars & the Electric Ladybugs; Knitting Factory Old Office, 4 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006; 8, free.

KEVIN MAHOGANY Motown singer Mahogany performs; Birdland, 315 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-581-3080; $20-$100.

KISS NATION If you can't see Kiss, you might as well hit up their super trib. band; Arlene's Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1633; 1 a.m.

EARTHA KITT versatile singer/actor/writer/living legend/super cat woman performs two shows tonight; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778, www.joespub.com; 8:30 & 11:30, $150-$200.

HERBIE HANCOCK QUARTET & CURTIS STIGERS QUARTET Spend New Year's w/legends; the Blue Note, 131 W. 3rd St. (betw. MacDougal St. & 6th Ave.), 212-475-8592; 7, 10 & 1 a.m. , $50-$95.

THE JONATHAN KREISBERG TRIO Enjoy live "chamber" jazz, while dining on five-course prix-fixe Italian dinner & glass of champagne; Bar Next Door, 129 MacDougal St. (betw. W. 3rd & W. 4th Sts.), 212-529-5945; 10 p.m.-1:30 a.m., $30, $15-$20 music charge.

KUSH'S NEW YEAR'S EVE MASH UP Karsh Kale, Dub Gabriel, Dr. Israel & Derek Beres expand your horizons w/dub reggae beats & Middle Eastern delicacies-the first 50 people in get a CD from Six Degrees Records-plus midnight champagne toast; 183 Orchard St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-677-7328; 8, $40, $30 adv.

LIVING ROOM pres. live music, party favors & champagne toast at the stroke of 12; 154 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-533-7235, www.livingroomny.com; $15.

ORANGE PARK headlines, w/support from the Mugs & I Love You-plus, midnight champagne toast, noisemakers, confetti & balloons-who doesn't love balloons!?; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 9:30, $20.

PILOT TO GUNNER w/Transit Belle & the New Red; Lit Lounge, 93 2nd Ave. (betw. 5th & 6th Sts.), 212-777-7987; 9, $5.

SIN-É Rock out, instead of pushing your way through yuppy champagne parties, w/the Star Spangles, Some Action, Mz. Pakman & the Weekenders; 150 Attorney St. (betw. Clinton & Ridge Sts.), 212-388-0077; 9, $12, 18+.

SIDEWALK CAFE pres. the New Year's Eve Bash w/Chris Barron (Spin Doctors), Testosterone Kills, the People's History of the United States, JAYMAY, Knot Pinebox-plus, champagne toast; 94 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-473-7373; 8, free.

SOULFARM & guests combine Los Lobos & Grateful Dead w/Middle Eastern percussion; Makor, 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Columbus Ave. & Central Park W.), 212-601-1000; 9, $35.

SOUL LIVE & the RADIATORS Jazz, funk & free party hats make a rocking New Year's eve; B.B. King Blues Club, 237 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-997-4144; 8 p.m. & 1 a.m., $50; $150 incl. all-night VIP pass w/table & champagne.

TED LEO & THE PHARMACISTS w/Motorsoft & Diamond; Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006; 9, $20.

TWO BOOTS BROOKLYN pres. The Barbarians (jazzy funk, ska) for their Rockin' New Year's Eve party w/extra festive menu & similar style dancing; 514 2nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-499-3253, free.

CHUCHO VALDES QUARTET Ring in the new year w/jazz & New Orleans-style buffet (mmm, beignets!); Village Vanguard, 178 7th Ave. S. (W. 11th St.), 212-255-4037.

BARRENCE WHITFIELD & THE MERCY BROTHERS perform bluegrass at the country bar that boasts, "every minute's a party"; Rodeo Bar, 375 3rd Ave. (27th St.), 212-683-6500.

wollesens, Monique DI MatTina Be prepared for 12 hours of live music incl. contemporary jazz from Monique di Mattina & funky jazz by the Wollesens (11 p.m.)-champagne toast & tacky favors at midnight; 55 Bar, 55 Christopher St. (Waverly Pl.), 212-929-9883, www.55bar.com; 7:30, $20.

YO LA TENGO Rock/world music hit performs-it's worth the voyage to Jersey; Maxwell's, 1039 Washington St. (11th St.), Hoboken, 201-653-1703, 10, $40.

The Zen Tricksters Rock Rock/jam band-that even Phil Lesh digs-rocks you w/three sets-plus, Mixmaster Mandrake spinning rare Grateful Dead, open bar, champagne toast & hot buffet; Tribeca Rock Club, 16 Warren St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-766-1070; 9 p.m., $75, $40 non-drinker.

Nightlife/Parties

ALLYEARFUN.COM pres. NY's "official New Year's Eve loft party" w/free bottle of Moët, Jell-O shots, buffet, party favors, special performances & music by DJ Ace; Loft 515, 515 W. 29th St., 2nd fl. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 917-301-8281, 917-319-3047; 9, $80.

ANGEL DJ Clay Nice fills the New Year w/sound & doesn't stop 'til far past dawn-plus, champagne toast at midnight; 74 Orchard St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-780-0313, www.angelny.com; 9:30, $25, $20 adv., free after 2 a.m.

APT NEW YEAR'S BASH w/muy especial guests, DJs Cam, Rich Medina & Spinna-plus, open bar of course!; APT, 419 W. 13th St. (betw. Washington St. & 9th Ave.), 212-414-4245; 10, $125.

BEANS, CORNBREAD & BUTTERMILK Tuxedoed & gowned abound at Luther Gales' gala, held in this newly restored ballroom, feat. music from the 30s, 40s & 50s by the Harlem Renaissance Orchestra & more contemporary beats by DJ Kwame-plus, hors d'oeuvres, cocktail hour, full buffet dinner, open bar, party favors & random gifts; Alhambra Ballroom, 2116 Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. Blvd. (betw. 125th & 126th Sts.), 212-926-6211; 10 p.m.-4 a.m., $200.

BEAUTY BAR Get your nails did & take advantage of drink specials-plus, DJ, champagne toast & party favors; 231 E. 14th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-539-1389, www.beautybar.com.

BLIND TIGER ALE HOUSE celebrates the coming year w/four-hour premium open bar, finger foods, party favors & champagne toast; 518 Hudson St. (10th St.), RSVP 212-675-3848, res. req.; 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $60.

CENTRAL BAR Dress to impress, then indulge in four-hour top-shelf open bar, hors d'oeuvres, party hats & favors, DJs & midnight champagne toast; 109 E. 9th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), RSVP 212-529-0058; 10 p.m.-2 a.m.

COPACABANA Three floors of music & entertainment feat. Johnny Pancheo, Kevin Ceballo, the Cover Girls, La Linea, Magic Juan & Notch; 560 W. 34th St. (11th Ave.), 212-239-2672; 10 p.m.-6 a.m., $50, $100 table.

DEWEY'S FLATIRON Bar & Grill with chill atmosphere throws its seventh-annual New Year's Eve party; DJ Keith promises to play everything from the 70s till today-plus, open bar, hors d'oeuvres, buffet dinner & champagne toast-you know when; 210 5th Ave. (betw. 25th & 26th Sts.), res. req. 212-685-7781; 9 p.m.-2 a.m. $110.

DOHERTY'S PUB Celebrate w/optional five-hour, top-shelf open bar; 218 E. 52nd St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-750-7173, $70.

FILTER 14 NEW YEAR'S Too many DJs tonight-plus, special after-hours permit which means 2003's last call ain't at four; 432 W. 14th St. (betw. Washington St. & 9th Ave.), 212-366-5680; $20, $10 after 1 a.m.

FIREWORKS in Prospect Park! Find a good vantage point & make a New Year's wish; Grand Army Plaza, Flatbush Ave. (Prospect Park), 718-965-8999; 12 a.m., free.

FLESH THEATER MASQUERADE BALL S&M lounge feat. DJs Kevin Carpet, Mekkah & Demonica dropping 80s, new wave & rock-plus, synthpop & goth for all the full-frontal kinksters. Brighten up the night by dressing up as a goth, vamp, fetish, medieval, Victorian or dark raver; 219 Flamingo, 219 2nd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-533-2860; 9, $15.

FLOAT Open bar from 9-12, champagne toast, continental breakfast & 3 floors of music feat. DJs Big Ben, Paul Perri, S-Kay & Ski-Hi; 240 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-581-0055; 8, $200, $100 adv.

FOURTH-ANNUAL GBH NEW YEAR'S EVE AFTER-HOURS PARTY The ball may have dropped, but the night is still young! Don't miss DJs Van Jee, Dinesh, Deepak Sharma & Jedsa kicking house & DJ Colt Seavers spinning hiphop & classics-guestlist gbhny@aol.com; Lotus, 409 W. 14th St. (betw. Washington St. & 9th Ave.), 212-243-4420, RSVP 212-807-6795; 3 a.m., $25, $20 adv.

FUNKY NASSAU runs the ill old school 70s New Year's house party-free Olde English w/entry & 40s all night long; 122 E. 7th St. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-253-2331, 10, $10.

GALAPAGOS DJs Spencer Product & Andee supply funked-up rhythms while dancers gyrate & video projections illuminate; 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-384-4586 x0; 8, $20.

IGGY'S KELTIC LOUNGE Prepare yourself for the most fun you'll ever have in an Irish pub w/loud staff, six-hour premium open bar, finger foods, party favors & champagne toast; 132 Ludlow St. (Rivington St.), 212-529-2731, www.iggysnewyork.com; 8 p.m., $75, $60 adv.

JACKED & JILLED DJs Alex English & DRG spin electro & indie, until we all fall down-open bar 11-12:30; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 11, $20, free after 12:30 a.m.

LAS VEGAS & NYC It's a down n' dirty, high rollin', ball-droppin', bright lights big you-know-what, kinda night; Open Air, 121 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-979-1459.

LOTUS LOUNGE offers DJs, champagne & complimentary late-night eats to spice up your New Year's; 35 Clinton St. (Stanton St.), 212-253-1144; call for times, $5.

MAKER'S BAR Sure you can stop in for a drink on your way to somewhere else, but smart folks will throw down cash for the four-hour open bar w/finger foods & a champagne toast; 405 3rd Ave. (betw. 28th & 29th Sts.), 212-779-0306; 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $50.

MICKY'S BLUE ROOM NEW YEAR'S Come down & invoke madness in the new year w/good beer, fine spirits & champagne toast to drunken resolutions, Dina's birthday & 80s rock; Micky's Blue Room, 171 Ave. C (betw. 10th & 11th Sts.), 212-375-0723; 9, $50 open bar, ladies free before 11.

MILTON'S NEW YEAR'S EVE EXTRAVAGANZA Prepare yourself for live music & a champagne toast to herald the new year; Pete's Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. (betw. Frost & Richardson Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-302-3770, www.petescandystore.com; 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m.

MOTHERFUCKER NEW YEAR'S EVE BALL It's the premier post-countdown event for poly-sexual, rock & roll debauchery; Downtime, 251 W. 30th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-695-2747; 1:30 a.m., $25.

MUGSY'S DJs, shots poured every hour, party favors & champagne at midnight; 31 2nd Ave. (betw. 1st & 2nd Sts.), 212-460-0992; $10.

NELL'S DJs spin the world of Latin music, disco & club classics plus live Cuban mambo band-appropriate dress req.; 246 W. 14th St. (8th Ave.), 212-675-1567, cubansoul.com; 9 p.m., $50.

NEW YEAR'S EVE DJ Eleven counts down while you rip it up into the new year; Lansky Lounge & Grill, 104 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-677-9489; 10.

NEW YEAR'S EVE DISCO BALL You know the drill: fresh beats, confetti drops, liquor 'round the clock, party favors, boozy expectations & no sneakers; Discotheque, 17 W. 19th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-352-9999; 8, $120.

NEW YEAR'S EVE LA DIFFERENCE Glorya Wholesome & Gil T. Pleasure mix it up w/current dance hits from Evil DJ Grim, Madonna impersonator, Madiva, Sinsational Cindy, Precious Miss Passion, Beautiful Barbara, Enticing Miss Egypt, Radiant Rajene & Miss Peppermint Gummy Bear-plus, champagne toast at midnight; Now Bar, 22 7th Ave. S. (Leroy St.), 212-293-0323; 10 p.m.-8 a.m., $30, women $20.

NEW YEAR'S EVE MAUNA All are welcome at 16th-annual silent ritual where you can avoid the craziness by meditating, writing, reading or toasting the year w/chai tea (silently) & vegan delicacies, all shoeless, until midnight, when the silence is broken w/a group Om chant, followed by song led by Uma Saraswati; Jivamukti Yoga Center, 404 Lafayette St., 3rd fl. (E. 4th St.), 212-353-0214; 9 p.m.-1 a.m., free.

NEW YEAR'S IS EASY Witness random entertainment from "surprise weirdo, phenomenal and eclectic performers in the classic Low style"-plus, open bar, finger food, DJ Alexis & tarot readings; Low, 81 Washington St. (betw. Front & York Sts.), DUMBO, 718-222-1569; 9, $50.

GREENDOOR NYC Jesse Malin, Holly & Howie Pyro are together again for just one night; Niagra Bar Downstairs, 112 Ave. A (7th St.), 212-420-9517; 10, $20.

NOCTURNE Music by Van Jee, open bar from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. & tables available for a fee; 114 Bleecker (betw. Thompson & LaGuardia), 212-807-6795; 9, $150.

NUYORICAN POETS CAFÉ SYOTOS hosts a mambo dance party for party people-free champagne & party favors, no res. req.; 236 E. 3rd St. (Aves. B & C), 212-50-8183; 10, $25.

NYC1979 The XXX New Year's bash feat. go-go boys, open bar till 12 & debauchery like you probably can't even imagine; the Hole, 29 2nd Ave. (betw. 1st & 2nd Sts.), 212-473-9406; 10, $25.

PHASE 4 FOR 2004 DJ Polar & his B.F.F. from SF welcome the nuevo ano w/house, groove & soul-plus free champagne toast when the clock strikes 12; Southside, 41 B'way (betw. Kent & Wythe Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-387-3182; free.

P.I.E. & PORN w/opening act Jen Urban-bands, DJs & a free champagne toast; Toybox, 256 Grand St. (betw. Driggs Ave. & Roebling St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-1000; 9, free.

PROHIBITED BEATS DJs Blue Water, Boomer, the Burner Brothers & Odi make this New Year's Eve party rock. Pace yourself-after-hours party runs until 8 a.m.; Rare, 416 W. 14th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-675-2220; 9. $25.

PROHIBITION Live music from a rock & roll band, four-hour open bar, party favors & lots of hors d'oeuvres; 503 Columbus Ave. (78th St.), 212-579-3100, www.prohibition.net; 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

PUBLIC MEDITATION PRACTICE Listen to brief lecture from meditation teacher John Akele, then contemplate-or block out-the new year; Shambhala Meditation Center, 118 W. 2nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-675-6544; 8 p.m.-12 a.m., $5 don.

RAVEN This bar's New Year's Eve party is "just providing a good time" with rock 'n' roll from the last half of the last century (figure that one out) with champagne toast at the right time, bar snacks, party hats, streamers, drink specials & complimentary breakfast bagels; 194 Ave. A (12th St.), 212-529-4712; 9, $15.

RHUMBA John "Gungie" Rivera gets the New Year going in the Boogie Down w/beats by DJ Wreck, party hats, noisemakers & midnight champagne toast; 396 E. Treemont Ave. (betw. Anthony & Carter Aves.), Bronx, 718-294-1100, info 212-685-3200, www.prestigeproductions.com; 9 p.m.-8 a.m., free, $10 adv.

SATALLA Huge African New Year's Party feat. El Hadji Ndao, Birane Sarr & DJs Shuen, Neva & Papa; 37 W. 26th St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-576-1155, www.satalla.com; 10, $35.

SBNY kicks off their Blackout New Year's Party w/DJs T-Pro & Max Rodriguez plus champagne toast-adv. tickets on ticketweb, 50 W. 17th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-691-0073; 8, $35, $25 adv.

SULLIVAN ROOM & LION'S DEN Two separate venues connected via backdoor plus 24-hour liquor license, 22 DJs, two hour open champagne bar & a very happy you; 214-218 Sullivan St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 718-522-7039, www.groovetickets.com; 10 p.m.-12 p.m., $40, $30 adv.

SPIRIT pres. DJ team Dirty Vegas (fresh off their long-running car commercial) & friends-the party goes until 6 in the morn, plus VIP status & table res. available; 530 W. 27th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-268-9477, email promotions@spiritnewyork.com; 9, $50-$100.

STRIPERELLA'S BALL Party on w/adamantly fetish-friendly gay, lesbian, bi, curious, straight, singles, couples & swingers; Pussycat Lounge, 96 Greenwich St. (Rector St.), 212-349-4800; 9, $30.

TELEPHONE BAR & GRILL Ring it in w/DJ Cav, snacks, party favors, a big screen & special New Year's menu before 10; 149 2nd Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-529-5000, www.telebar.com; 10, $20.

VILLAGE LANTERN Celebrate in the heart of Greenwich Village w/six-hour open bar, champagne toast & food-dress to impress; 167 Bleecker St. (Sullivan St.), 212-260-7993, $80.

WEBSTER HALL Open bar till 12, insane party till 8 a.m., largest balloon drop in the world plus breakfast; 125 E. 11th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), 212-353-1600; 8, $125.

ZUM SCHNEIDER Bavarian beer garden fills your New Year's stein w/free "Kölsch welcomebeer," cold buffet, German & pop music, midnight champagne toast, "Bleigiessen" fortune-telling (10 p.m.-12 a.m.) & cash bar; $30, $25 adv.

Restaurants

ALMA BLU Soho eatery serves "traditional Italian New Year's dinner"-we're thinking it involves pasta-either a la carte or $50 prix-fixe; 179 Prince St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-471-2345.

ARTE CAFÉ serves four-course meals w/glass of wine; 106 73rd St. (Columbus Ave.), RSVP 212-501-7014; $50.

AQUAGRILL Seafood eatery pres. four-course tasting menu, along w/saber-you know, sword-opening of champagne, complimentary midnight toast & party favors; 210 Spring St. (6th Ave.), RSVP 212-274-0505; call for info.

BROOME ST. BAR provides low-key atmosphere, meals w/free beverage; 363 W. Broadway (Broome St.), 212-925-2086, $17.

CORNELIA STREET CAFE Front Page performs a musical political revue, The Front Page Follies (9 p.m., $35, $25 w/dinner)-plus grand full-course dinner w/champagne; 29 Cornelia St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 4th Sts.), 212-989-9319; seatings 6 p.m.-12 a.m., $60.

CROTON RESERVOIR TAVERN Premium open bar, passed hors d'oeuvres, full buffet dinner, DJs, dancing, party favors & champagne toast; 108 W. 40th St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-997-1738, www.crotonreservoirtavern.com; 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $150.

HANGAWI Fill up on food-morally superior & healthy food at that-before drinking more than you should! New Year's Eve prix-fixe dinner feat. six-course vegetarian feast; 12 E. 32nd St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-213-0077; 5-10:30, $49.95.

INDUSTRY Go all out w/two-course dinner, five-hour top-shelf open bar, hour of passed hors d'oeuvres & midnight champagne toast-or fill up on alcohol & go without dinner to save some loot; 509 E. 6th St. (betw. Aves. B & C), 212-777-5920; $150, $100 w/out dinner.

LUCKY CHENG'S Don't be a drag, spend the evening playing "which one of the waiters is really a man"-here's a hint, all of them! Two prix-fixe menus w/three seatings, crazy cabaret shows at 7:30, 9:30 & 11:30-plus, karaoke, saucy cocktails & champagne toast; 24 1st Ave. (betw. 1st & 2nd Sts.), RSVP 212-473-0516, www.planetluckychengs.com; call for times, $40-$90.

MI COCINA RESTAURANT Champagne & tequila, four-course dinner, midnight toast & party favors; 57 Jane St. (Hudson St.), 212-627-8273, 10, $59.

NEW BEGINNINGS PARTY Small Italian restaurant serves up five-course dinner, champagne toast & party favors to start you off right; Primitivo Osteria, 202 W. 14th St. (7th Ave.), res. req. 212-255-2060; $50.

ORO BLU RESTAURANT Italian restaurant serves pre-fixe dinner (6-11:30), then join in the countdown, followed by champagne toast at the stroke of twelve; 333 Hudson St. (Charlton St.), 212-645-8004, 6 p.m.

PANGEA Fixed-price menu, midnight party w/favors & DJ to follow; 178 2nd Ave. (betw. 11th & 12th Sts.), 212-995-0900, www.pangeanyc.com; $35.

PARISIAN NEW YEAR'S EVE CELEBRATION Bring a honey & pretend you're in the city of love w/Paris-themed four-course tasting dinner & dancing to a groovy DJ-chip in $15 more each & you two can share a bottle of Mumm Cordon Rouge champagne; Chelsea Bistro & Bar; 358 W. 23rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-727-2026; 9 p.m., $110.

PETE'S TAVERN Leave your own mark on the historical landmark during five-course dinner-plus, five-hour full open bar, DJs, dancing , champagne toast & a full breakfast, if you can stomach it (2 a.m.); 129 E. 18th St. (Irving Pl.), 212-473-7676, www.petestavern.com; 8:30, $95.

PFIFF Restaurant says goodbye to crazy 2003 w/hors d'oeuvres, open bar, DJ, favors & bubbly; 35 Grand St. (Thompson St.), RSVP 212-334-6841; $80.

tavern on the green Annual gala feat. eight-piece True Blue band, six-course menu, open bar, unlimited champagne & live ice-sculpting demos w/view of Central Park fireworks in sumptuous surroundings; Central Park W. (67th St.), res. req. 212-873-3200 x282; 8:30, $259-$466.

tavern on the green pres. Night in Old Hollywood feat. buffet dinner, open bar, music by the Paul Katz Trio & DJ Emcee & dancing beneath lavish holiday; Central Park W. (67th St.), res. req. 212-873-3200 x282; 9:30, $155.

TRIBECA GRILL Celebrate New Year's w/amazing five-course dinner & then dance it all off to live music by Soozie Tyrell (Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band)-plus, they'll be serving a holiday brunch the next morning; 375 Greenwich St. (Franklin St.), 212-941-3900; 9:30 p.m., $150.

Comedy & Performance

SANDRA BERNHARD: EXCUSES FOR BAD BEHAVIOR, PART 2 Special New Year's Eve performances full of "razor-sharp wit, singular song styling & her unique brand of humor"; Ars Nova Theater, 511 W. 54th (10th Ave.), 212-868-4444; 8 & 10:30, $50 & $150.

BINDLESTIFF FAMILY VARIETY ARTS pres. their New Year's Gala/all-star variety spectacular, plus champagne toast; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 1-877-BINDLES, www.bindlestiff.org; $50 adv.

BOXED LAUGHTER Stand-up comedy solves all your problems w/laughter; Jack Dempsey's Pub, 36 W. 33rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-629-9899; 8, $5 & 1 drink min.

COMEDY THERAPY Maureen Marren cures you w/laughs from nationally known comics; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 10, Free.

KIT KAT CLUB Enjoy cocktails & an "elegantly-fabulous six-course dinner" while the "Kit Kat Kids" perform "fully staged songs & dances"; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 7, $57 & $120.

NEW YEAR'S EVE COMEDY IN TIMES SQUARE Ring in the New Year laughing the night away w/Russ Meneve, Mitch Fatel, Dov Davidoff, Jim David-special guest Patrice O'Neal performs at 7:30 & Kevin Meaney at 10; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; www.carolines.com; 7:30 & 10, $45 & 2 drink min. at 7:30 show; $85 & 2 drink min. at 10.

NEW YEAR'S EVE 2003 America's "top headliners" make you laugh till midnight during two very special shows-feat. Gregg Rogell, Robert Kelly, Allan Havey, Kevin Brennan, Ben Bailey, Mitch Fatel, Keith Robinson, Dov Davidoff, Dan Naturman, Sherrod Small & Modi; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), RSVP 212-254-3480; www.comedycellar.com; 8 & 10:30, $25 & 2 drink min. for first show; $50 & 2 drink min. for second show.

NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL PACKAGE Laugh till midnight w/Peter Bales, Jessica Kirson, Pete Correale, Sherrod Small & Kevin Brennan; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8 & 10:30, $20; $75 for second show.

NEW YEAR'S EVE CHAMPAGNE GALA PERFORMANCE Repertory ensemble, the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players, pres. Gala feat. songs, parodies, even audience requested scenes w/full 25-piece orchestra & complimentary champagne; Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2535 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; 8, $50-$65.

NEW YEAR'S EVE COMEDY Celebrate the New Year w/open bar, hors d'oeuvres, party favors & stand-up-feat. Vic Henley, William Stephenson, Ben Bailey, Ted Alexandro, Gregg Rogell & Sherrod Small; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8 & 10:30, $25 & 2 drink min.; $100 for the 10:30 show.

NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL Guest comedians from SNL, MTV & all others from all the top TV shows & open bar; the Underground Lounge, 955 West End Ave. (107th St.), 212-531-4759; 9, $35.

NEW YEAR'S EVE COMEDY First show hosted by William Stephenson feat. Lenny Marcus, Vanessa Hollingshead, Kurt Metzger & Big Jay Oakerson. Second show hosted by Ray Ellin feat. Tony Rock, Bill McCarty, Tina Giorgi, Buddy Bolton & Modi; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; www.comicstriplive.com; 7:30 & 10:30, $50-$75.

$ANDY KANE'S N.Y. BLEW COMEDY SHOW Cable tv princess & comic stripper makes her tits light up for New Year's & sings her classic hit, "I Love Dick!"-don't we all?!; the Eagle, 554 W. 28th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-330-7043; 12 a.m., $10.

STAND-UP NY Two amazing shows, party favors & champagne at late show; 236 W. 78th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-595-0850, at 8, $70 w/open bar or $35 cover & 2 drink min., at 10:30, $90 or $45.