Picks

WEDNESDAYJULY 21

MAKE A WISH

If there were a recipe for how to make a movie that couldn't be missed, it would be: lesbians, sex, violence, camping and crossbows. Set the burners on broil and make sure it's a slasher flick. Name it after a foundation that fulfills the dreams of dying kids. Serve to a theater full of freaks. See you there. Pioneer Theater, 155 E. 3rd St. (Ave. A), 212-254-3300, 9, $9.

JASON MORAN

Hot pianist Jason Moran spends the week at the Jazz Standard with his trio, the Bandwagon (also the name of Moran's new Blue Note CD). His impressionistic attack recalls Andrew Hill, with a repertoire ranging from standards and originals to Bjork and Afrika Bambaataa. Jazz Standard, 116 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-576-2232, 7:30 and 9:30, $20.

THURSDAYJULY 22

MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES

B-movie auteur Roger Corman has made a ton of shoestring-budget movies, with quality ranging from the good (his Edgar Allan Poe movies) to the bad (the 1980 Star Wars rip-off Battle Beyond the Stars) to the unreleased (comic-book-geek near-urban legend The Fantastic Four). The Man with the X-Ray Eyes, about a scientist whose self-inflicted experimentation grants him uncontrollable super-eyesight, may be Corman's best. And Don Rickles is in it! Brooklyn trio Clem Snide will accompany the movie with their vintage pop stylings, as will Pere Ubu. Yeah, Pere Ubu. Prospect Park Bandshell, 9th St. (Prospect Park W.), Park Slope, 718-855-7882, 7:30, $3 sugg. don.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT & P.M. DAWN

It's hard not to think back on these two 90s hiphop embarrassments without shame. "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss" was an Enya B-side groove with a soft, new-age near-rap provided by a fat black man in a mumu. Arrested Development's popularity can be chalked up to scared suburban parents buying the album for their kids, who really wanted Straight Outta Compton. Well, they're playing a show together, and standing on the sidewalk outside the club to see who actually paid to get in will be an anthropological adventure. B.B. King Blues Club, 237 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-997-4144, 8, $22, $20 adv.

FRIDAYJULY 23

DOT DASH TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Local underground rock promoters Dot Dash are celebrating their two-year anniversary tonight and tomorrow night at Southpaw. Dot Dash are dedicated to showcasing under-represented low-fi, high-energy bands (think more "roots punk" than "mod indie"), so expect buzz-sawing three-chord guitar rock spanning three decades. Tonight features L.A. old-schoolers the Weirdos, who remain surprisingly respectable live; the Spits, another band from Seattle's generally ass-kicking Dirtnap Records (what's in the water up there?); modern NYC garage darlings the Little Killers; M.O.T.O (aka Masters of the Obvious) from Chicago; and the NYC Dot Dash crew's punk rock project, the Shop Fronts. Tomorrow's lineup includes the Kids from Belgium, Taxi, Tyrades, Some Action and the Winks. 125 5th Ave. (betw. Sterling & St. John's Pls.), Park Slope, 718-230-0236, 8:30, $20.

O CHANG-GUN'S TOENAIL

Blue Bicycle's new production of Park Joh-yeol's O Chang-Gun's Toenail offers New York audiences a rare chance to see one of the finest examples of contemporary Korean theater (in translation, yet!). "Chang-Gun," roughly translated, means "general, and is a name parents bestow upon children from whom they expect great things. Here, O Chang-Gun grows up to become a young farmer at peace with the world. He's friends with the cows and the trees. Then he's conscripted to fight in a war, and things take a turn for the worse. An anti-war tract in the form of a fairy tale, the play's message may be one you've heard a thousand times before, but here it's told in a completely different fashion. And even though the play was written 20 years ago, it still feels awfully timely. Cherry Lane Theatre, 38 Commerce St. (Bedford St.), 212-868-4444, Weds.-Sat., 7:30; Sun., 2; $15, $12 st.

SATURDAYJULY 24

COLORIFIC WEEKEND

Like the song says, there's always something happening at the zoo. Today, that means more than just masturbating monkeys. The biggest Bronx attraction not owned by George Steinbrenner is offering lectures and flamenco dancing. But the real draw is what they're calling "Extreme Warhol," a gallery exhibit of 10 screenprints Warhol did in 1983. They look more or less like every other Warhol screenprint, only they're pictures of endangered animals. How often do you get to ask your date if you want to see some art or go to the snake room? Bronx Zoo, Fordham Rd. & Bronx River Pkwy., 718-367-1010, 11:30-4:30, $11, $8 child.

A SALUTE TO MARLON BRANDO

This is a walking tour of Manhattan in tribute to a man born in Omaha, NE, who by the end of his life was so obese that he was almost immobile. In fairness, when Brando was young and ambulatory, he did indeed make our fair city his home. This tour leads through the landmarks of the method-acting icon's early career, including the Actor's Studio where he was tutored by Stella Adler, and the theaters where he had his early dramatic successes. Pester the guide with questions like, "Remember the butter scene in Last Tango in Paris? That was awesome." Meet at southwest corner of 57th St. (7th Ave.), 212-265-2663, 1, $5.

SEDIMENTS AT OPEN GROUND

When something builds up all around you, do you shake it off? Or see what happens when you're covered? Robyn Desposito, Cris Nyne, Damien Olsen and Samara Sussman each have a different response in this group show where the "something" ranges from conformity to suppressed rage. Olsen deals in excess, desire and time, while Desposito's Anger Management has a storyboard-inspired message for any woman who's been told to calm down: Don't. Olsen (guitar, effects, loops), Nyne (words) and Carlos Bernales (keyboards) make it full-frontal multimedia at the Saturday night opening. Open Ground, 252 Grand St. (betw. Driggs Ave. & Roebling St.), Williamsburg, 718-387-8226, 8, free.

SUNDAYJULY 25

SOLAR ELECTRIC WORKSHOP

Once we learn to harness the power of the sun, we shall be like gods! Or at least more eco-conscious. Today, visit an onsite Solar Electric Installation and learn how to make sparks fly without batteries, oil or Con-Ed. According to their mission statement, the do-gooder coalition behind 6BC Botanical Garden is committed to natural beauty, bio-diversity and renewable energy. 6BC Botanical Garden, E. 6th St. (betw. Aves. B & C), 718-768-8161, 12, $10.

ICE SKATING

When you think of summer in New York, the first image that pops up is ice-skating. No? Well, it's never too early to start practicing for the winter games, and it's always fun to pretend to be Brian Boitano for a day. Escape the summer heat and enjoy mid-summer ice-skating at Chelsea Piers. It's free every Sunday through August, so it's a great opportunity to avoid the Piers' absurd prices. Chelsea Piers Sky Rink, Pier 61, 23rd St. (12th Ave.), 212-336-6100, 12, free.

MONDAYJULY 26

AUSTRIAN TASTING SEMINAR

Austria, the once-contested region of Germany, has produced two things that have changed the world forever: Adolf Hitler and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently, they've also given the world some decent wine and food. Today, the Mark offers the best that the mountainous land has to offer. Ideally, the whole thing will degenerate into a European Vacation-style lederhosen slugfest, but we can't promise anything. 25 E. 77th St. (Madison Ave.), 212-744-4300, 6, $50.

TUESDAYJULY 27

PORNOGRAPHY & FEMINISM STRIPPED

Are porno and feminism natural-born enemies? Despite what Andrea Dworkin has been huffing and puffing about for two decades, the answer is a breathless, moaning, gasping "no." Tonight, watch two movies that make that point: 2002's Hot and Bothered: Feminist Pornography and 2000's Live Nude Girls Unite! The screenings will be followed by presentations by filmmaker Becky Goldberg and Suzanne Delaney, who represents Feminist for Free Expression. For Saul Austerlitz's thoughts on Makor's continuing "Passion, Pornography and Partnership" program, see p. 31. 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Columbus Ave. & Central Park W.), 212-601-1000, 7 & 9, $9-$15.