PIE ANY MEANS NECESSARY: THE BIOTIC BAKING BRIGADE COOKBOOK BY THE BIOTIC ...
EANS NECESSARY: THE BIOTIC BAKING BRIGADE COOKBOOK BY THE BIOTIC BAKING BRIGADE AK PRESS, 116 PAGES, $12
WHAT DO BILL Gates, Phyllis Schlafly, Milton Friedman, Thomas Friedman and the father of the nuclear bomb have in common?
Pie! All of them, along with a host of politicians, developers, geneticists, corporate executives and Christian fundamentalists the world over, have at some point incurred the absurdist wrath of the Biotic Baking Brigade, authors of Pie Any Means Necessary. "Leftist authoritarians, sell-out leaders, fake environmentalists, the media, and snitches" have also gotten their "just desserts."
While other methods of direct action can be vulnerable to media manipulation, there's no mistaking the message of an edible missile. "A pie in the face has no equal in slapstick comedy. It can reduce dignity to nothing in seconds," says Mack Sennett, founder of the Keystone Cops. Many comedians and politicos have historically made their point with pranks: Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Lewis and the Marx brothers, to name a few.
This slim volume offers a balance of history, theory, frontline accounts, recipes, the occasional poem and reprints from newspapers and magazines (as well as more pie puns than you can digest in one sitting). Particularly enjoyable is a profile of Noël Godin, aka Georges le Gloupier, from the Observer magazine. Godin, a cinephile widely revered for instigating the 1998 Brussels pieing of Bill Gates, has also flanned philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy five times. Says Godin: "Hostilities will end when [Levy] and his wife appear in public and sing, as a duet, the popular French comic song 'Avez-Vous Vu le Beau Chapeu de Zozo?' So far he has shown no sign of complying."
The "Rules of Crumb" section advises the would-be pie slinger on choosing a target, eluding security, navigating the legal system and connecting pastry to pie-hole. On the question of hurling the pie vs. planting it square in the target's face, the writer muses, "An airborne fusillade is such an amazing sight, and the sound of a long-distance splat elicits tears of joy to us pie-throwers. [But] if one misses with a toss, it's such a grievous bummer."
Some people take their just desserts with grace and a grin. Jean-Luc Godard defended Noël Godin when Cannes tried to ban him. When San Francisco mayor Willie Brown got pied, it was another story. Spokespeople wailed that he bumped his knee and could have cracked his skull. The Cherry Pie 3, as they came to be called, spent four months in jail. Convicted pie-wielder Agent Cherry Rhubard Tart had this to say: "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a pie is just flour, sugar, water and fruit for fuck's sake. Get over it!"