Pressed for Time: Plastic Ono Band

Feb. 15 & 16, Brooklyn Academy of Music, 30 Lafayette Ave. (at Ashland Pl.), Brooklyn, 718-646-3100; 8, $39 and up.

Mrs. John Lennon brings her incredible, inevitable Plastic Ono Band to the Howard Gilman Opera house with—and wait for this because it’ll blow your mind—Bette Midler and Thurston Moore, Paul Simon, Martha Wainwright, fucking Eric Clapton and a whole pile of others. For those not lucky enough to get tickets to the Feb. 16 show, Ono et al. will perform a “Dress Rehearsal” Feb. 15.

Bottom Line: Ono’s reputation for destroying the Beatles undeservedly eclipses her mettle as a musician par excellence.

The heart is a lonely hunter, and Valentine’s is the first day of the hunting season. But if your bounty is more cultural than romantic—and let’s face it, love fades, zeitgeist doesn’t—mend your broken heart with screenings, plays and bounce.Who dat, heartbreak?

—Joshua David Stein