Rudy of Arabia

IN AN APRIL 6 leader, the editors of the Wall Street Journal outline a bold prescription for showing the world that "the U.S. is still fighting to win" in Iraq. Along with typically insane recommendations like launching cruise missiles at Iran's Bushehr nuclear power plant, the editorial contains several quality ideas. Foremost among these is nominating Rudy Giuliani to replace Paul Bremer as U.S. proconsul in Iraq later this year, something New York Press hereby seconds with a cheer.

The move would touchingly reunite Rudy with ex-NYPD commish Bernard Kerik—former advisor to the Iraqi Ministry of Interior—and provide a natural forum for Rudy's unique political gift at uniting diverse populations. To break the ice, perhaps Rudy could don a burka on Iraqi tv, just to show he has a sense of humor and doesn't take his Catholicism too seriously. From there he could crack down on the petty crime and vandalism that's been leading directly to all those nasty attacks on coalition troops—call it the "broken bab" theory. As most of the museums in the country have been looted bare, there will be no need to monitor the content of exhibitions, freeing up Rudy to deal with all those Baghdad street vendors. Plus, his comb-over looks sexy in the heat.