So-So Triple Threat: The Pipettes Are All Schtick and Hip Swivel

I spent last night trying to pinpoint what makes British 1960s revivalist girl group [The Pipettes] so much more socially acceptable than British 1990s [recently reunited girl group The Spice Girls](www.usmagazine.com/spice_girls). The Blender Theater at Gramercy was packed Monday with surprisingly equal proportions of male and female 20-somethings who didn’t blush when shelling out $18-20 for this particular dose of choreographed, cheeky escapism, but would never pay to see Scary, Sporty, Posh, Baby and Ginger.

Yes, The Pipettes sing live—but their off-key vocals can’t top the polished, blended harmonies of the Shangri-Las, Dixie Cups or Chantels. Yes, the ladies contribute to the songwriting—but there’s nothing on We Are the Pipettes, the group’s debut released in the United States Oct. 2, that can touch “Leader of the Pack,” “My Boyfriend’s Back” or even “Wannabe” for pure catchiness. And although their dance routines are memorized, they’re not rehearsed enough to rival the sweet dignity of The Supremes or the athletic sexuality of Janet Jackson.

Although the polka-dot skirt-wearing, hip-swiveling threesome belonging to Interscope’s Cherrytree Records is as mediocre as any Spice Girl, being vintage makes the manufactured group feel less fake. And that’s ridiculous. The Pipettes are also legitimized by their venue (they didn’t rock the Nassau Coliseum, like the gurus of girl power soon will) and, perhaps most importantly, they offer a fun, budget-friendly spectacle.

RiotBecki, Gwenno and Rosay’s entertaining, bubblegum ditties—complete with spoken confessional breakdowns—are generally two or three minutes long and have a limited subject range. “This one’s not about dancing, so it’s about love,” laughed RiotBecki, the blonde with glasses.

“There are really only two themes,” nodded Rosay, the brunette who plays keyboards.

Gwenno is the hot, tall redhead who’s often front and center onstage, even though Rosay is the best singer-dancer. Backing the Brighton trio are The Cassettes—four male instrumentalists sporting matching grey sweater-vests. Guitarist Monster Bobby reportedly created The Pipettes after reading Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty’s infamous1998 book, The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way).

The Pipettes are part of a recent wave of British girl groups: The Priscillas and the Puppini Sisters also invoke retro sounds, while Girls Aloud and Sugababes represent modern pop. Like The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies of the 1990s swing revival, The Pipettes scream one-hit-wonder, and I wonder what their one hit will be. Crowd favorite “Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me” got close, peaking at No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles Sales chart with its punchy mashup of The Ronettes’ beehives and Toni Basil’s pompoms.

For me, The Pipettes are also a one-show-wonder. After 60 minutes of uninspired choreography, faulty harmonizing and cartoonish British cheek, I got it. There were no alarms and no surprises on the horizon, just sheer entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’d rather have a great singer, a great songwriter or a great dancer than a so-so triple threat.

Photo courtesy of [ryandombal on Flickr] see more of his [work here.](http://www.blender.com/news/default.aspx?src=dom)