STAGE WEDNESDAY 10/9 Cabaret "Blue Properties" Joseph P. McDonnell directs ...
Cabaret
"Blue Properties" Joseph P. McDonnell directs Michael Edwin Stuart & Heather Olt w/Wesley A. Chick at Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $8 & 2 drink min.
"Fresh as a Daisy" Carol Shedlin w/Jon Delfin on piano & Frank Wagner on bass; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Barb Jungr performs songs from her new CD, Every Grain of Sand: Barb Jungr Sings Bob Dylan?it'll probably be the only time you'll understand Dylan's words; the Flea, 41 White St. (betw. B'way & Church Sts.), 212-206-1515; 9:30, $20 [repeats Thurs.-Sat.].
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].
"Made for the Movies: A Hollywood Songbook Take 2" Bill Henderson, Dena DeRose & Eric Comstock perform the music of 1930s-1960 Hollywood songwriters & composers incl. Henry Mancini & Duke Ellington; Oak Room, the Algonquin Hotel, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800; $50 & $15 min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 9 & 11:30].
Comedy
"Big Vagina Monologues" & "Unemployed" In "Big Vagina Monologues," Jackie Clark knows that the bigger the lips, the better?just ask the masturbating parrot (8:30); while in "Unemployed" Paul Scheer sleeps in & makes the most of three months without a paycheck; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5 for both.
Elephantoberfest Join sketch comedy troupe Elephant Larry w/members Geoff Haggerty, Stefan Lawrence, Chris Principe, Jeff Soloman & Alexander Zalben, & party like it's October?hey, wait, it is October!; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 347-742-8562; 8, $7.
Steve Marshall Stand-up w/Billy Burr, Nancy Redman, Steve Byrne, Greg Vaccarello & Richie Bryne; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. 8:45 to closing, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].
The Orphans spin a one-word audience suggestion into 60 minutes of long-form improv without help from their absentee parents; St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-206-1515; 8, $10, $7 st.
Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Jim Norton, Godfrey, Kevin Brennan & Sherrod Small; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].
Reverend Jen's Anti-Slam Open mic where comedians, sketch comics, musicians & freaks do their thang for six minutes; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; sign-up at 7:45, $3.
Shang He came, he saw, he Shang; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $15-$18 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. at 10].
Dance
"Giszelle" Choreographer Xavier Le Roy's U.S. premiere of "Giszelle," performed by Eszter Salamon, spanning "two thousand years of cultural icons"; the Kitchen, 512 W. 19th St. (10th Ave.), 212-255-5793; 8, $20 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].
The Main Event AT&T dance series pres. Ronald K. Brown/Evidence in "Walking Out the Dark," "inspired by the image of brothers & sisters in spiritual exile"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, $32 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. at 7, Sun. at 2].
Making Dance: Documents from Judson Memorial Church, 1958-1968 Reminisce over past performances w/this exhibition of posters, fliers, programs, photographs & scores at NYU's Bobst Library, 70 Washington Sq. S. (La Guardia Pl.), 212-998-2596; call for times, free [through 10/18].
San Francisco Ballet performs three New York premieres incl. Helgi Tomasson's "Chi-Lin" & pas de deux "Chaconne for Piano and Two Dancers" dedicated to the late Jerome Robbins & Mark Morris' "A Garden" set to music by Richard Strauss?plus encore of William Forsythe's "The Vertiginous Thrill of Exactitude"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $30-$60 [repeats Fri.].
THURSDAY 10/10
Cabaret
Guy & Doll Debra Vogel & Brian Tom O'Connor w/musical director Darryl Curry fight the war between the sexes through song; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 7, $10 [repeats Mon. at 7:30].
"?Down a Third" Michael McAssey celebrates his 20th year in cabaret w/new & classic songs & stories from his long career, at the place where it all began; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-757-0788; 10, $8 & 2 drink min.
Luigi & Arlette Duo tickles some ivories in bar of Italian restaurant; Baldoria, 240 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-582-0460; 9, free w/dinner or drinks [repeats Sat.].
"Songs to Offend Almost Everyone" Sharon McKnight dishes it out w/Ian Herman on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10:30, $10 min. [repeats Sat. at 11].
"Then & Now" Thayer Hochberg w/Paul Katz on piano?benefits St. Bart's Players; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Comedy
Gilbert Gottfried He of squinty eyes & grating voice comes to Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, $20 & 2 drink min.
Happy Hour Tim Halpern emcees the very funny United Nations of comedy feat. Susan Jeremy, Nasry Malak, Laurie Kilmartin, Starla Muraszka, Yumi & special guests; Two Boots, 44 Ave. A (3rd St.), 212-254-1919; 9, $5 incl. drink or pizza.
Tortured Logic Greg Contreras hosts night of standup w/funny comics Ron Poole, Sean Anemozalis, Anthony Devito, Clayton Fletcher, Tracy Esposito, Rodney Laney & Kim Cea; Lulu's Comedy Lounge, 499 10th Ave. (38th St.), 212-244-5165; 8, $7 & 2 drink min.
Dance
City/Dans Gina Gibney Dance pres. premiere of "Time Remaining," inspired by an image of vines engulfing temple ruins, set to score by composer Kitty Brazelton & performed by all-male ensemble; Dancespace Project at St. Mark's Church, 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].
Dancing Across State Lines KDNY & Zephyr Dance Co. of Chicago pres. New York premiere of "Broken Time" inspired by Vietnam doc. Regret to Inform & two Kathleen Dyer works "Jabberings of Protons" & "Escape in Blue #32"; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St., 11th fl. (betw. Washington & West Sts.), 212-924-0077; 9, $15, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Fri. at 9, Sat. at 8].
San Francisco Ballet New York premiere of Julia Adam's ballet "Night," one-act version of "Paquita" & George Balanchine's "Rubies" from Jewels, set to the music of Igor Stravinsky; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $30-$60 [repeats Sun. at 3].
FRIDAY 10/11
Cabaret
"The Melody Lingers On: Part 2" Barbara Lea w/the Wes McAfee Duo; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
"Rules of the Road?A Love Story" Matt Leahy w/Mark Hartman on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10:30, $10 min.
Comedy
The Friday Night Freakathon Joe Dixon hosts stand-up for the tragically single freaks out there?who'd be eating alone if they weren't all here together; back room at Gioia Restaurant, 387 6th Ave. (betw. Waverly Pl. & W. 8th St.), 212-255-7800; 8:30, free.
Arnez J. does stand-up at Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, 10:30, 12:30 a.m., $24-$26 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10:30, 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 9:30].
Al Lubell Stand-up w/Sam Greenfield, Greg Rogell & Vic Henly; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8:30, 10:30 & 12:15 a.m.].
Dance
"Reverse It" Choreographer Erico Villanueva uses ballet, acrobatics & modern dance?plus three short videos by Ksenija Turcic?to get in touch w/the feminine experience; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288, 8:30, $15 [repeats Sat. & Sun.].
SATURDAY 10/12
Cabaret
"Around the World in a Bad Mood" Through sketches & songs, real-life flight attendant Rene Foss illustrates how mechanical delays & in-flight fights make her flying experiences far worse than the passengers'; upstairs at Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-712-8702; 7, $12 & 2 drink min. [through 10/26].
"A Brand New Us" Judy Kreston & David Lahm start anew w/Ratzo Harris on bass & Phil Leone on drums; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?& listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
"Love is Where You Find It: The Music of Nacio Herb Brown" American Composer Series pres. Heather Stuart, Barbara MacArthur, Stephanie Foster, Michele Bailey & Bryan Campo performing the songs "Singin' in the Rain" & "Make 'em Laugh" composed by the late Brown; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-757-0788; 3:30, $8 & 2 drink min.
Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
Comedy
A Beautiful Scene Girlbomb hosts variety talk show feat. audience sing-along, musical segment w/M. David Hornbuckle & guests Seth Quankmeyer, Eric Kirchberger & Rev. Jen Miller; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), 212-673-4182; 10, $8.
Girl on Girl Action Asaf Ronen directs the "Charlie's Angels" of improv feat. skateboarding "Jill," mysterious "Kelly" & foxy yet bookish "Sabrina" as they tackle time & space to make you laugh; 45 Below, 45 Bleecker St. (betw. Mott & Mulberry Sts.), 212-330-0685; 10:30, $5 [through 11/2].
If We Were Men, We'd Be Famous Bitter women incl. Shecky Beagleman, Darcy Casteleiro, Nancy Giles, Gilda Konrad, Suzanne O'Neill & Janet Rosen vent their frustrations; upstairs at Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-366-5438; 6:45, $5 & 2 drink min.
The Rock Albers Show: An Evening of Comedy & Songs He's back by demand! The man in the Brooks Bros. Suit w/the bunny ears & tail, pokes fun at everyone & sings out at Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-206-1515; 9, $10 & 2 drink [through 10/26].
Secret Slut UCB's Matt Walsh swore to protect the First Daughter (Missy O'Reilly), but banged her instead, destroying her virtue; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 9, $7 [through 10/26].
Dance
San Francisco Ballet performs three New York premieres incl. Christopher Wheeldon's abstract ballet "Continuum," set to music by Györgi Ligeti, Yuri Possokhov's "Damned," a retelling of Euripides' Medea & Mark Morris' "Sandpaper Ballet" feat. 25 dancers costumed by Isaac Mizrahi; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 2 & 8, $30-$60.
SUNDAY 10/13
Cabaret
"Abra-Cashetta" Drag favorite Cashetta gives magic a fab makeover, turning more tricks than Heidi's girls in cuter getups w/fewer legal snags; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-462-9077; 10, $10.
"Hey, That's My Cake! Version 2.0" Vinnie Costa & Tom Privitere bake up an upgrade to their delicious night of song & dance feat. layers of Liza & Barbra?for those 21 & over only please; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
"A Lovely Night" Maureen Kelley & Tom Stewart w/Dick Gallagher on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 5:30, $10 min.
Isaac Mizrahi Designer extraordinaire, fresh from fittings w/Sarah Jessica & Selma Blair, tries his hand at singing w/the Ben Waltzer quintet; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), info 212-539-8778, tkts. 212-239-6200; 9:30, $20.
"Places, Please! Act II: More Songs of Francesca Blumenthal" feat. Marnie Baumer, Michael Moratta, Jaymie Meyer & Diana Templeton w/Wes McAfee on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
"Something" Diane D'Angelo, Margaret Corry & Nancy Lee Bach w/Rick Jensen on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 3, $10 min.
Comedy
The Adventures of Murdersmurf The Animatronic Children "take you on a journey that begins w/laughter & ends in uncomfortable silence"; Rififi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-1027; 8, $5.
Goumba Johnny's Columbus Day Comedy Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $19 & 2 drink min.
Greg Vacarello Stand-up w/Greg Rogell, Steve Marshall & Mike King; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9, $7 & 2 drink min. [repeats Mon. & Tues.].
Dance
Folk Dance Theatre in Concert Choreographer Barbara Hazlett pres. dances from Poland, Ukraine, Russia, Bulgaria & Moldova incl. solo "Gypsy Wine," "Kerchief Dance," "Outside the Tavern" & a mixed program of old favorites; Philip Ochs School Theater, 440 W. 53rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 718-726-1633; 3, $10, $5 st./s.c.
Monday 10/14
Cabaret
"At home with Arlen" Audrey Lavine (not the "Complicated" girl) w/Ross Patterson on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Comedy
Jim David Stand-up w/Jessica Kirson, Russ Meneve, Nancy Redman, Greg Carey & Billy Burr; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].
Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Mitch Fatel, Godfrey, Robert Kelly & Pete Coreale; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].
TUESDAY 10/15
Cabaret
Ann McFrederick debuts w/David Lahm on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
"Something Old, Something New" Israeli entertainer Dudu Fisher performs traditional Jewish standards & Broadway favorites; the Mazer Theatre, 197 E. B'way (Jefferson St.), 212-239-6200; 8, $45-$60.
Comedy
International Comedy Night Around the world w/Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 9:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
Paul Wagner's Comics Roundtable Video-interactive comedy show w/sketch, stand-up & mock commercials from Paul Wagner, Becky Veduccio, Dan Nainan, Mike Trupiano, Al Del Bene, Greg Contreras, Michelle Buteau, Amy Garson, John McCullough, Mark Jablonski & Sal Barone; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 9, $7.
The Shecky Eichman Show More than mere comedy, it's an experience. Or at least "real" reality tv, thanks to the hidden cameras! Tonight, Shecky interviews comics Ted Alexandro & Laurie Kilmartin; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-252-2090; 8, free.
Dance
American Ballet Theater begins fall season w/opening night gala feat. six works incl. excerpts from A Tribute to George Harrison, company premiere of Kirk Peterson's Dancing With Monet & pas de deux & coda from Grand Pas Classique & Sylvia Pas De Deux; City Center, 130 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 7, $40-$100.
Stephen Petronio Co. pres. world premiere of "City of Twist" inspired by the complexity of New York & feat. costumes by Tara Subkoff of Imitation of Christ, encore of "Strange Attractors Part II" & solo work "Broken Man," the fifth in a line of Petronio's character studies; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $38.
THEATER
Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule. (Weds.-Tues.). Call theater for complete schedule.
IN PREVIEWS/OPENINGS
Amour Musical love story set in Paris during the 50s w/score by Michel Legrand; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$85 [opens 10/20].
Antony & Cleopatra Frank Cwiklik's retelling of the Shakespeare classic is set in mythical mob-run 60s Las Vegas; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, $20, $10 st./s.c. [opens 10/10, through 11/2].
Betty Rules Musical traces lives of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 5, $29.90-$44.90 [opens 10/15].
Billie Madame Pat Tandy stars as Billie Holiday in Roz Nixon's honest tribute to the late & great Lady Day feat. obscure facts & memorable songs; the Club, La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St., 2nd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 10, Sun at 5:30, $15 [opens 10/10, through 10/20].
Cheat Women's Project & Productions' 25th season opens w/Julie Jensen's domestic tale of romance at end of WWII; Women's Project Theatre, 424 W. 55th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Thurs.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $12-$39 [opens 10/16, through 11/3].
Dance of the Vampires Michael Crawford stars as 19th-century vampire, Count Von Krolock, in musical adaptation of Roman Polanski's film The Fearless Vampire Killers; Minskoff Theare, 200 W. 45th St. (B'way), 212-307-4100; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $25-$95 [opens 11/21].
Debbie Does Dallas Coming-of-age story based on the film of the same name feat. original music & new cheers; Jane Street Theatre, 113 Jane St. (betw. Washington St. & 10th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, Sat. at 7 & 10, $30-$35 [opens 10/29].
The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates, found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55 [opens 10/10].
Flower Drum Song Story based on the novel by C.Y. Lee about a Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco & must deal w/Americanization; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $65-$95 [opens 10/17].
Hollywood Arms Moving comedy written by Carol Burnett & daughter Carrie Hamilton, based on Burnett's 1986 memoirs; Cort Theatre, 138 W. 48th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $15-$75 [opens 10/31].
A Man of No Importance Musical based on film from 1994 about a middle-aged Dublin bus conductor whose real passion is theater. His life takes a turn when he wants to produce Oscar Wilde's Salome; Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater at Lincoln Center, 150 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65 [opens 10/10, through 12/29].
Monogamy (fidelity that is!) Two middle-age sisters put their rivalry to rest & share stories of the their intimate encounters w/men; Thalia Spanish Theatre, 41-17 Greenpoint Ave. (42nd St.), Sunnyside, Queens, 718-729-3880; Sat. at 3; $25, $22 st./s.c. [opens 10/11, through 11/10].
Namesake Festival Doppelgang Productions open second season w/13 short plays incl. Philip Cuomo's "Hermes' Mother: A Masque," Dori Appel's "Monkeyshines" & Malachy Walsh's "Really?"; Flamboyan Theater, Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (betw. Rivington & Delancey Sts.), 212-851-8915; Tues. at 7, $15, $10 st./s.c. [opens 10/15, through 10/26].
Part-time Gods Ben Hodges directs Noah Klein's dark comedy, which reveals mysterious powers ruining an ad man's best ideas; Ground Floor Theater, 312 W. 11th St. (betw. Greenwich & Hudson Sts.), 212-352-3101; Thurs.-Mon. at 8, $15 [opens 10/14, through 11/2].
Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life, incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen; Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$65 [opens 10/10].
7 1/2 Habits of Highly Effective Mistresses Lisa Faith Phillips' one-woman show uses songs, self-help lectures & a riding crop to share the habits w/you; Cornelia Street Cafe Downstairs, 29 Cornelia St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 4th Sts.), 212-505-7227; Thurs. at 7, $14 & $6 min. [opens 10/10, through 10/24]
Taming of the Shrew Artemis & the Wild Things' adaptation of Shakepeare classic set in 1970s Austin, TX feat. original country & folk score; the 78th Street Theater Lab, 236 W. 78th St., 3rd fl. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sun. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $13-$15 [opens 10/9, through 10/20].
3 O'Clock in Brooklyn Margarett Perry directs Israela Margalit's comedy that traces six relationships w/five possibilities, but resulting in four heartbreaks; Access Theater, 380 B'way (Walker St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8 [opens 10/10, through 11/2].
The Water Coolers Thomas Michael Allen's musical comedy laughs at corporate America & what it takes to get by; Dillon's, 245 W. 54th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 3 & 7, $50-$65 [opens 10/14].
Yentl Robert Kalfin directs this first ever Yiddish-language adaptation of romantic folktale about a rabbi's daughter who dresses as a man to study at Yeshiva; 344 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-213-2120; Tues. at 7, $45 [opens 10/27, through 12/29].
JUST OPENED
Antony & Cleopatra Odyssey Theatre Ensemble fittingly performs Shakespeare's classic tale in a converted 1910 bathhouse; the Brooklyn Lyceum, 227 4th Ave. (betw. President & Union Sts.), 866-GOWANUS; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 10/27].
Bartenders Louis Mustillo characterizes six men who've made careers out of slinging drinks; Phil Bosakowski Theater, 354 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, mat. Sun. at 3, $35.
Blood in the Sink John Gould Rubin directs tale of murder, that begins when an obstruction is cleared from the pipes; Urban Stages, 259 W. 30th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 10/12].
Bunny Lake is Missing Dan Spurgeon directs this suspense mystery about a lost three-year-old girl, who may have never existed?based on Evelyn Piper's 1957 novel of the same name; Common Basis Theatre, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 10/27].
Burn This James Houghton directs Catherine Keener, Edward Norton, Ty Burrell & Dallas Roberts in a "turbulent & funny play" about four New Yorkers overcoming their "deepest fears and doubts" after an unexpected death occurs; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65 [through 11/3].
The Charity that Began at Home Debut of St. John Hankin's comedy about the results of a family who pretend they're Mother Theresa; Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-315-0231; Weds., Thurs. & Tues. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. 2, $35 [through 10/27].
The Chip Deffaa Invitational Theater, cabaret & dance productions handpicked by New York Post critic, held at Chashama, 135 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-260-1515 for sched. [through 10/14].
Connections Comedy musing Internet dating; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $25 [through 10/20].
Endpapers Inner workings of publishing house are revealed when founder/CEO announces his retirement?and from what we've read, the script by Thomas McCormack (former editor at St. Martin's Press) is dead on; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45-$65 [through 10/27].
Evolution One man must choose between an unexpected career & the love of his life; 45 Bleecker, 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-260-3750; Weds.-Sun. at 8, $15 [through 10/13].
Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about a plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$95.
Happy Days Joseph Chaikin directs 41st anniversary of Samuel Beckett's comedy about marriage; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 10/27].
Hopscotch: The New York Sex Comedies Rotating cast portrays single New Yorkers looking for a shag; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds. at 8 & 10, $15 [through 11/6].
Last Call Clyde Baldo directs Andrew Uhlenhopp's one-man show examining the battle with & eventual recovery from alcohol & drug addiction; the Greenwich Village Center, 219 Sullivan St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-831-5880; Fri., Sat. & Mon. at 8, $20 [through 10/21]
Let It Go Gillian Bross & Gregory Gallerano's comedy of unattainable love; Raw Space Studio Theater, 529 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-713-5255; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 10/12].
Little Ham Musical love story based on Langston Hughes play set during 1930s Harlem Renaissance; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65.
Love, Janis Homage to the first lady of rock incorporates 19 of her songs & all of her hits; the Village Theater, 158 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-307-4100; call for times, $45-$100.
The Mayor's Limo Joe Corcoran & Mark Nassar, producer & co-creator of Tony N' Tina's Wedding, pres. new production about homeless man taking a leak on guess what? Yup, the mayor's stretch. Starring The Sopranos' Sharon Angela; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $45 [through 12/29].
Medea Fiona Shaw stars in Dublin-based Abbey Theater's rendition of Euripides' tragedy, as part of "New Wave Festival" at BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pl.), Ft. Greene, 718-636-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 7:30, mat. Sat. at 2, $25-$65 [through 10/12].
The Porno Jim Show Jim & his sexy assistant, Bex, explore hardcore porn to improve your sex life?adults only!; Chashama, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 877-BINDLES; Thurs. at 9, $10 [through 10/31].
Potty Mouth David Gautschy directs Andy Horwitz's telling of his mostly-true tales of queer sex in the city; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St., 2nd fl. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182; Fri. at 10 & 12 a.m., $10 [through 10/25].
The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain's novel about a man & his doppelganger set to music; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Fri., Sat. & Mon. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $40-$60.
The Pumpkin Pie Show Theater, literature & music compete in storytelling war; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Fri. & Sat. at 10:30, $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 11/2].
Que Buena Amiga Es Mi Suegra (How Good My Mother-In-Law Is) Thirty-fifth Repertorio Español season continues w/Franklin Domínguez's audience favorite about a mother-in-law trying to save her daughter's marriage while falling for two men; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850, www.repertorio.org; Thurs. at 7, Fri. at 8, Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 3, $25-$40 [through 10/13].
Ray on the Water Reality tv crew discover new story while stranded in Rhode Island waiting for ferry to Nantucket; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Thurs.-Sat. at 7, $15 [through 10/20].
Rich Hall aka Otis Lee Chrenshaw Southern parodies are funny & all, but not quite as amusing if you've done any time south of the Mason Dixon line?if you think the Village Idiot is the epitome of a Southern bar, get your head out of your ass & take a drive down South. This mockery of a Tennessee bumpkin' promises lots of Southern charm, "down-home humor" & "bourbon-soaked song" incl. "Conjugal Visit"; Ars Nova Theater, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $12 [through 10/12].
Second Chances Michael Gurin & Matt Okin's comedy/drama of father & son striving to reconnect; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs. at 8, Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 3 & 7, $10 [through 10/20].
She Stoops to Conquer or The Mistakes of a Night Oliver Goldsmith's satire of English class structure; Theater 80, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $30-$40 [through 11/10].
Single Wet Female Carmelita Tropicana & Marga Gomez star Single White Female rip-off that begins as innocent lesbian romance but heats up when the boyfriend (Mr. Murray Hill) appears via satellite; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Weds.-Sun. at 7:30, $15 [through 10/20].
Slut Traditional musical but w/drinking, dancing & fucking; American Theatre of Actors, 314 W. 54th St., 4th fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $16 [through 10/12].
Take Me Out chronicles the effects one ballplayer's sexual preference has on his team & fans; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $55 [through 10/27].
Were You There? traces lives of two men from the Stonewall riots to '98's vigil for Matthew Shepard; Bank St. Theater, 155 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-696-8561; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 10/20].
Young Playwrights Festival Twenty-first annual showing of the best plays submitted; Cherry Lane Theater, Alternative Space, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-279-4200, www.youngplaywrights.org for sched.; $12-$30 [through 10/26].